Wayne Besen - Author, Activist, Columnist, Public Speaker

Monday, June 20, 2005

(John Smid with Beard, I mean wife)

Young Zach is still a captive at the bizarre Memphis ex-gay cult, Love in Action. In a 1997 interview with the Memphis Flyer, Love In Action's Director, John Smid, spoke of how he overcame homosexuality.

"I'm looking at that wall and suddenly I say it's blue," Smid said, pointing to a yellow wall. "Someone else comes along and says, 'No, it's gold.' But I want to believe that wall is blue. Then God comes along and He says, 'You're right, John, [that yellow wall] is blue.' That's the help I need. God can help me make that [yellow] wall blue."

You don't have to be a psychology major to recognize that Smid's metaphor for gay conversion is a dictionary definition of delusional: "a false belief strongly held in spite of invalidating evidence."

When I give speeches across the nation on the bizarre methods of the ex-gay ministries, people often think I am making this stuff up. Sadly, the psychological voodoo these groups perform is way beyond my imagination. Amazing that primitive people still believe in this nonsense.

20 Comments:

These ex-gays are so ugly. No wonder they seek to convert. That guy is not only a troll, he looks like a total perv.

Julias
Montreal
posted by Anonymous, at 6/21/2005 12:00 AM

I feel sorry for his dumb wife, not only did she get a pathetic deluded closet case for a 'husband', he also looks like a Zanti (if you're not from the 1960s Outer Limits generation, you won't get this reference). Plus this king-sized asshole makes his living abusing teenagers. Why doesnt the government shut down these snake oil religious cults; oh, I forgot, our government is currently being RUN by them!!
Gary in NJ
posted by Anonymous, at 6/21/2005 8:36 AM

Zach's case is disgusting! Talk about child abuse! I can just imagine them arriving on their judgment day and being told they'll rot in hell for their immoral treatment of their son!

And God saying, "I said love thy neighbor and you didn't!" And she pointed them toward damnation for their sins!
posted by Anonymous, at 6/21/2005 11:31 AM

As a gay man now out for over 27 years, I bounced back into a closet for a few months after my initial same-sex experience. This was driven by a huge sense of guilt over my purported "sin", a lack of understanding about human sexuality, and no accessible resources that could have provided psychological support in my coming-out process.

It appears to me that people in the "'ex'-gay" movement use religion to run from sex and sexuality and find it easier to conform than to grow and liberate themselves. This 'movement' is maintained by authoritarian religion that originated in the early Dark Ages and that has yet to fully embrace a rational, modern worldview, especially regarding human behavior, sexuality, and relationships.

James
San Francisco
posted by Anonymous, at 6/21/2005 1:32 PM

I don't think commenting on these folks' looks is either fair game, or smart politically. However, I do find it very interesting that John Smid has apparently changed his appearance in a certain way. Compare the picture with his wife to the picture on the Refuge website at http://www.asafeplace.org/default.aspx?pid=3. It's a free country, and people have the right to artificially change their hair. But the new hair is curious for at least two reasons: (1) Real gay men are often very concerned about their appearance. Straight men, especially happily married men, often care much less about their appearance. Their interests and values are elsewhere. I would deduce that this guy is interested in having a certain appearance. (2) With what all the rules at Refuge about appearance, he (a) is probably trying to be more attractive to others with his hair (although I personally find baldness much more attractive than fake hair), and (b) is doing so artificially -- you might say not truthfully(!) Like his REAL (and beautiful) self is not what he presents.
posted by Anonymous, at 6/22/2005 1:33 AM

ex-gays are to straight what Michael Jackson is to white.
posted by Anonymous, at 6/22/2005 1:48 AM

I posted the comment re the two photos of Mr. Smid. I meant "What with" not "With what" - sorry. Another thought: If ex-gays tend to be "ugly," there might be a degree of cause and effect relationship there. It may be that experiences of a lack of acceptance in the gay male community might make the "ex-gay" delusion attractive. Think about it. The oppressive lookism that sometimes occurs in the gay male community may be making a contribution. Believing in being an ex-gay may seem a pathway out of pain and into acceptance. Of course, forcing a child (Zach) into a conversion camp is another matter entirely.
posted by Anonymous, at 6/22/2005 1:50 AM

We need to have a rescue mission to save Zach and have a lawyer file a petition to have him divorce his parents.
posted by Anonymous, at 6/22/2005 10:32 AM

I agree that it's unfair to comment on someone's looks.
However, if it is in the context of unrealistic conformity to a standard, I'm with you.
I comment often that ex gay ministry is like breast augmentation for women or eye surgery for Asians.
Having small breast and epicanthic folds is perfectly natural and healthy and so is being gay.
The fact that there is such a thing as eye and breast surgery and ex gay ministry...doesn't mean it's for the health and well being of those who seek it.
It's in reality to comfort those who try to force their beauty and sexuality standards unfairly on people who don't require it to begin with.
Unecessary, expensive, painful and demoralizing.
The prayer of St. Francis of Assissi comes to mind.
Especially the part about having the wisdom to know the difference in what needs to be changed.
Clearly, ex gay ministry fails in this instance.
posted by Regan, at 6/22/2005 1:38 PM

Yellow wall, Gold wall, Blue wall.

Huh? Certainly he doesn't claim to be an educated man.
posted by Anonymous, at 6/22/2005 6:36 PM

Notes from this morning:

Smid, Rev. John
Head Self-Loathing, Child-Abusing Poobah In Charge
Wife: Has one
Children: Unknown
4430 Highgrove Dr
Memphis, TN 38125-3163
HOME PHONE (Confirmed): 901-759-9239
MapQuest-able
05624: They definitely are NOT awake at 4 am CDT -- and probably not at 2 or 3 am, either. My message was "Child abusers need an early start on their days...wakey, wakey...so many happy queer kids to destroy, so little time!" He wakes up faster than his wife does.
posted by Marla R. Stevens, at 6/24/2005 11:39 AM

What a sick man and a dangerous organization! People forced into this camp are not allowed to wear A and F or Calvin Klein clothing, nor tank tops or sleeveless tee's, no doubt so as not to tempt these self hating closet cases into fits of gay lust. This guy also went on record as saying he would prefer these kids commit suicide than go back to being gay. Unbelievable--there aren't words bad enough to describe this freak.
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