Wayne Besen - Author, Activist, Columnist, Public Speaker

Thursday, July 21, 2005

I have long said that there are virtually no longterm "ex-gays" who are not on the payroll of right wing organizations or working for a ministry. This is important, because it means in order to supposedly go from gay to straight, one must quit his or her job and dedicate every waking hour to overcoming homosexuality. Ironically, these folks are immersing themselves in the very thing they claim they have escaped.

Writer Mark Benjamin proved my point in his 4-part series for Salon this week. He asked Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, head of the conversion therapy lobby group NARTH, to provide him with successful patients who weren't paid by right wing political groups to say they had gone from gay to straight.

He responds that his patients will not talk to me because they don't get a fair shake in the press. They are done with homosexuality and have moved on with their lives. They don't want to talk about it now.

Benjamin also asked Randy Thomas, spokesvirgin from Exodus International to provide people to talk to that weren't on the right wing dole.

Exodus spokesman Randy Thomas also declines to help me meet ex-gays to interview. He says that I can read about the experiences of ex-gays on Exodus Web site.

It is interesting that Exodus and NARTH together claim to have made "hundreds of thousands" of self loathing gay people straight. One also thinks that these legions of people would be very enthusiastic about sharing their experiences. But when pressured to provide real life examples, these groups have nothing to show. Exodus simply offered to recycle the same tired shills they have on their web-site. Perhaps, ex-gays do not really exist? Interestingly, Benjamin practically tripped over ex-ex-gays willing to discuss how the "ex-gay" ministries negatively impacted their lives. Does this not say something about the success/failure ratio?

The state of Florida, where Exodus is based, should launch a full-scale investigation against Exodus for potential fraud. (Oh, wait, Jeb Bush is Governor) They have claimed that they have helped hundreds of thousands of people. Yet, these supposedly "healed" homosexuals remain invisible. Exodus also still highlights people on its web-site as success stories, like Shawn O'Donnell, who are now out and proud gay men. It is time that Exodus puts up or shuts up. Either these hordes of ex-gays exist or the group is greatly exaggerating its efficacy.

26 Comments:

I was once an ex-gay. I was brainwashed. They took my money and my soul. Wayne, thanks for your work on this issue. What you do is truly the work of God.

Jake D.
New Orleans
posted by Anonymous, at 7/21/2005 3:21 PM

I second Jake. I am so glad you have been on top of this issue. You were following it when it wasn't popular and making sure it stayed in the news. Keep outing those so-called ex-gay hyporites.

Terry in Colorado
posted by Anonymous, at 7/21/2005 3:23 PM

This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
posted by Anonymous, at 7/21/2005 3:23 PM

The ex-gay success/failure ratio mentioned in the article is I'm sure 0 to 100% respectively!
Gary (NJ)
posted by Anonymous, at 7/21/2005 3:50 PM

How many people do we know that claim to be "straight" and go to gay sex clubs, or cruise online? How many guys -of all races and religious backgrownds- are living double lives? Now, if this happen with guys and gals that claim themselves as "straights" and get married, and have families, and the whole nine yards, can you imaging the "ex-queers"? No one in their right mind can believe in this sort of "ministry", one: because there is nothing ministerial about it, and two: because sexual orientation is what it is, attraction for people of the same gender, nothing else; not a sin, not a deviation, nothing of the sort. People who suffer because of a waight problem, may develop disorders like anorexia or bullimia, it dosn't mean that eating is "intrinsecally evil" is just that the person has bought on the immages imposed by society. Sexuality and sexual orientation are natural, and having sex is natural, but if one person develops self hate because they believe that sex is bad, then, they will want to change their sexual orientation. Can they change their sexual orientation? NO, and eventually they develop a number of mental deseases as a result of trying to change what they naturally are. it is like other mental disorders, like internalized racism, just that, this is internalized homophobia. Ex-gays... don't make me laught!!!
posted by Anonymous, at 7/21/2005 4:46 PM

We know what you meant to say, but please dont compare homosexuality to eating disorders. God I need a Ben and Jerry's right now!
posted by Anonymous, at 7/21/2005 4:55 PM

Sorry if I did not explained mayself correctly! I mean to compare internalized homophobia with eating disorders and food with sex... for me, sex is like food!
posted by Anonymous, at 7/21/2005 5:05 PM

Nicolosi is in denial. It's Classic Denial and I'm not a psychiatrist.
posted by cowboy, at 7/21/2005 5:06 PM

I have yet to meet an "ex-gay" I have met several ex ex gays in my travels... now watch the ex gay leaders attack Salon.
posted by Anonymous, at 7/21/2005 6:44 PM

The whole ex-gay movement centres around brainwashing and self-shame induced by false religion. The only success stories we actually see are those paid by hate groups to say that they have been "cured". What they haven't realized in their stupidity and blind prejudice is that there is nothing to be cured because being a homosexual is an innate and instinctive trait and is not an illness that can be cured.
posted by Anonymous, at 7/22/2005 12:04 AM

This is more than strange, it is downright incredible. If there are hundreds of thousands, there should be dozens willing to talk about it. Instead, the same old tired queens come up over and over again. Many of whom can not document any adult gay life. Thanks for keeping this issue alive Wayne,
Dalea

PS loging in here is nearly impossible.
posted by Anonymous, at 7/22/2005 12:21 AM

Right on, Wayne.

I think the comparison with eating disorders is fair and to the point, by the way.

Some gays have an unhealthy lifestyle, but that doesn't mean being gay is unhealthy. Some people who eat are boulimic, that doesn't mean eating is bad for you.

Gay sex is not an addiction just because you don't want to leave it behind, by that logic, we're all addicted to food.
posted by Willie Hewes, at 7/22/2005 3:45 AM

Lets all keep up the pressure on the ex-gay movement. How about a state-wide gay demonstration outside their headquarters to really put this fraud on the map. Why doesn't the APA take a stand on this, the one organization that could put these charlatans out of business once and for all?

Ex-gays are like the socalled straight men, single and married, who hang out in chat rooms looking to get off and claim they're still straight. Then there are those who vehemently deny they're gay if they don't reciprocate, then they become incensed when you question them on it. Even worse when they oppose our basic civil rights? These are the very people, among others, who are a detriment to marriage. And the right wingers think we're sick? Go figure.

Robert, Bayside, NYC
posted by Anonymous, at 7/22/2005 8:14 AM

I hope the media challenge the "hundreds of thousands" claim, and invite them to do so (60 Minutes?). If I were Joseph Nicolosi, I would want to completely dissociate myself with religious and/or political groups. If I really, honestly, deep down, heart-of-hearts felt that I had a genuine, effective, secular therapy whereby homosexuals could become heterosexuals, and really, honestly, know of thousands (or even hundreds or even tens) who had been truly changed (I'm not counting religious brainwashing as being changed), I would want to present such a therapy as a scientist might -- free from judgment, one way or the other, about it, and absolutely free from any connection to religion. I would want to present my therapy in a way that was unambiguously devoid of bigotry or ideology. Just the facts -- agenda-less empirical data. Derived through earnest application of the scientific method. Instead, Nicolosi is clearly and proudly affiliated with and allied with religious and political groups. He seems in fact to be extremely tight with them, like Siamese twins. I remember seeing a ridiculous 15 minute video made in 1992 or 1993 or so called "The Gay Agenda." It was sent unsoliticedly to politicians in Washington. Its function was to make gay people (especially gay men) seem disgusting, sick, and threatening. Nicolosi was prominently featured in the video. For that reason alone, to me Nicolosi has no credibility. His therapy is political behavior. Again, if it were serious, and effective ("hundreds of thousands"), he would actively shun connections to religious or political groups -- not proudly embrace, and be embraced by, them.

Good work, Wayne. Thank you.
posted by Anonymous, at 7/23/2005 1:50 AM

For at least THREE years I've tried to become informed on ex gay methods and practices. I contacted Living Waters here in the LA area and asked if I could observe with confidentiality for the participants.
I contacted Warren Throckmorton and J. Nicolosi....
All were either evasive or wanted prohibitive fees for getting the actual therapy or ministry.
Not even for the sake of reporting for information and accuracy.
Even Mark Benjamin who wrote the Salon article had to go undercover.
Substantiation isn't in their agenda, we're all just supposed to 'take their word for it' or 'take it on faith'.
How friggin' stupid is that?
Healthy and committed sex is what we should all strive for.
However, context is everything.
Young people who were taught the old fashioned abstinence only ideal, tended to be badly uninformed.
This left girls especially vulnerable to abuse because they are traditionall taught that it's the man's role to initiate sex.
Being taught to submit is something that's damaged women for centuries.
Religiously DEMENTED people tend to think of all kinds of normal sex as dirty and undesirable, like oral sex or masturbation and are well known to set up all kinds of myth and fear to discourage it.
A lot of heterosexuals were so mindf***d that all kinds of people suffered and could take no pleasure or feel secure in ANY kind of sex.
Repression based on terror is the worst approach to sex education.
People require truth and comprehensive info about relationship expectation and sex information.
Only then can people learn to trust themselves and their feelings and learn to deal with them accordingly.
Haven't the results of openness and real approaches to sex borne this out?
posted by Regan, at 7/23/2005 12:58 PM

Robert from Bayside, the APA has taken a stand on it:

From APA.org homosexual12.pdf
American Psychiatric Association, 1400 K St. NW, Washington, DC 20005
FactSHEET
In December 1973, the American Psychiatric
Association’s Board of Trustees deleted homosexuality from
its official nomenclature of mental disorders, the Diagnostic
and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Second Edition
(DSM-II). The action was taken following a review of the
scientific literature and consultation with experts in the field.
The experts found that homosexuality does not meet the
criteria to be considered a mental illness.

For a mental condition to be considered a psychiatric disorder,
it must constitute dysfunction within an individual,
cause present distress (e.g., a painful symptom), disability
(e.g., impairment in one or more important areas of functioning),
or a significantly increased risk of suffering death,
pain, disability, or an important loss of freedom. A homosexual
or bisexual individual may experience conflict with a
homophobic society; however, such conflict is not a symp-tom
of dysfunction in the individual.

The APA Board recognized that a significant portion of
homosexual and bisexual people were clearly satisfied with
their sexual orientation and showed no signs of psychopa-thology.
It was also found that they were able to function
effectively in society, and that those who sought treatment
most often did so for reasons other than sexual orientation.
When the DSM-III was published in 1980 homosexuality
was not included although “ego dystonic homosexuality”
was recognized as a category for people “whose sexual interests
are directed primarily toward people of the same sex
and who are either disturbed by, in conflict with, or wish to
change their sexual orientation.” In the 1987 DSM-III revision,
“ego dystonic homosexuality” was deleted as a sepa-rate
diagnostic category in recognition that “In the United
States, almost all people who are homosexual first go through
a phase in which their homosexuality is ego dystonic”
(DSM-III-R).

“Reparative Therapy”

“Reparative therapy,” also known as conversion therapy, is a
term that is used to describe treatment attempts to change a
person from a homosexual or bisexual orientation to a heterosexual
orientation. There is no published scientific evi-dence
supporting the efficacy of “reparative therapy” as a
treatment to change one’s sexual orientation. It is not described
in the scientific literature, nor is it mentioned in the
APA’s Task Force Report, Treatments of Psychiatric Disorders
(1989).

Sexual orientation, like gender identity, appears to be established
early in life. There is no evidence that altering sexual
orientation is an appropriate goal of psychiatric treatment.
There are single case reports of changes or increased flexibility
in the capacity to respond heterosexually—or homosexually—
during psychotherapy, but no specific treatment
to permanently realize such changes has been documented.
Clinical experience suggests that attempts to change sexual
orientation may occasionally result in behavioral changes for
some motivated individuals for limited periods of time, but
that such changes often are accompanied by depression, anxi-ety,
and other symptoms.

Homosexuals and bisexuals—like others—are raised in a
homophobic society and often experience internalized homophobia.
Some may seek conversion to heterosexuality on
that account. Clinical experience suggests that relief of homophobia
allows for better psychological functioning. Those
who have integrated their sexual orientation into a positive
sense of themselves function at a healthier psychological level
than those who have not.

In December 1998, the APA Board adopted a position
statement on psychiatric treatment and sexual orientation
which said in part: “…the American Psychiatric Association
opposes any psychiatric treatment, such as “reparative”
or “conversion” therapy which is based upon the assumption
that homosexuality per se is a mental disorder or based upon
a prior assumption that the patient should change his/her
homosexual orientation.” (See Psychiatric Treatment and
Sexual Orientation on page 3.) Several other major professional
organizations including the American Psychological
Association, the National Association of Social Workers and
the American Academy of Pediatrics also have made statements
against “reparative therapy” because of concerns for
the harm caused to patients.

Sensitive and Affirmative Therapy

Homosexual and bisexual men and women have experienced
increased social acceptance and recognition over the
last several decades. Bias, prejudice, and stig-matization
of these individuals—and of homosexuality
itself —however, continue. These factors can contribute to
shame and poor self-esteem, and be a component in the mental
health presentation of some homosexuals and bisexuals seeking
psychotherapy or psycho-pharmacology.

Therapy that is “gay sensitive”—that is, therapy provided
by a therapist who is well informed about homosexuality
and the issues facing homosexual and bisexual people that
result from social homophobia—is most helpful for those
individuals. So, too, is therapy that is “gay affirmative”—
that is, therapy provided by a therapist who is positive and
supportive about accepting an individual’s homosexual or
bisexual orientation.

APA Position Statements on Homosexuality

The American Psychiatric Association is officially on
record with the following position statements:
Homosexuality and Civil Rights—Whereas homosexuality
per se implies no impairment in judgment, stability,
reliability, or general social or vocational capabilities, therefore,
be it resolved that the American Psychiatric Associa-tion
deplores all public and private discrimination against
homosexuals in such areas as employment, housing, public
accommodation, and licensing, and declares that no burden
of proof of such judgment, capacity, or reliability shall be
placed upon homosexuals greater than that imposed on any
other persons. Further, the American Psychiatric Association
supports and urges the enactment of civil rights legislation
at the local, state, and federal level that would offer
homosexual citizens the same protections now guaranteed
to others on the basis of race, creed, color, etc. Further, the
American Psychiatric Association supports and urges the
repeal of all discriminatory legislation singling out homosexual
acts by consenting adults in private. (The American
Psychiatric Association is, of course, aware that many other
persons in addition to homosexuals are irrationally denied
their civil rights on the basis of pejorative connotations derived
from diagnostic or descriptive terminology used in psy-chiatry
and deplores all such discrimination. This resolu-tion
singles out discrimination against homosexuals only
because of the pervasive discriminatory acts directed against
this group and the arbitrary laws directed against homo-
sexual behavior.) (November 1973)

Discrimination Based on Gender or Sexual Orientation—

Irrational employment discrimination on the basis of
gender and sexual orientation has received considerable attention
in law, business, sociology, and, to a lesser degree,
psychology. It is well known that sexual harassment and
other forms of irrational gender-based employment discrimination
are potentially severe occupational stressors. Complaints
of sexual harassment and gender based discrimination
have increased in recent years, and this trend is likely to
continue because employees are increasingly aware of legal
prohibitions against these and other forms of employment
discrimination. While the psychiatric needs of selfidentified
discrimination victims have been under-recognized, both in
and out of the workplace, psychiatrists can expect increasing
consultations regarding these issues. It is important that
psychiatrists appreciate and help others to understand the
emotional consequences of irrational employment discrimination
based on gender or sexual orientation. ( June 1988)

Homosexuality and the Armed Services—The APA, since 1973, has
formally opposed all public and private discrimination
against homosexuals in such areas as employment,
housing, public accommodations and licensing. It follows
that APA opposes exclusion and dismissal from the armed
services on the basis of sexual orientation. Furthermore, APA
asserts that no burden of proof of judgment, capacity, or
reliability should be placed on homosexuals which is greater
than that imposed on any other persons within the armed
services. (December 1990)

Right to Privacy—The American Psychiatric Associa-tion
supports the right to privacy in matters such as birth
control, reproductive choice, and adult consensual relations
conducted in private, and it supports legislative, judicial, and
regulatory efforts to protect and guarantee this right.
(December 1991)

Homosexuality and the U.S. Immigration and Natural-ization
Service—The American Psychiatric Association
strongly opposes all public and private discrimination against
homosexuals in such areas as employment, housing, public
accommodations, licensing, and immigration and naturalization
decisions. The U.S. Immigration and Naturalization
Service (INS), at least until 1990, considered homosexuality
to be a mental illness and used this determination as a
basis for the discriminatory exclusion of homosexual visitors
and immigrants to the United States. The American Psychiatric
Association successfully opposed the continued in-
clusion of homosexuality as a mental illness by the INS.
The APA believes that neither physical illness nor mental
illness nor sexual orientation per se should be a basis for
immigration or naturalization exclusion. (1991)

Homosexuality—Whereas homosexuality per se implies
no impairment in judgement, stability, reliability, or general
social or vocational capabilities, the American Psychiatric
Association calls on all international health organizations,
and individual psychiatrists in other countries, to urge the
repeal in their own country of legislation that penalizes ho-mosexual
acts by consenting adults in private. And further,
the APA calls on these organizations and individuals to do
all that is possible to decrease the stigma related to homo-sexuality
wherever and whenever it may occur.
(December 1992)

Bias-Related Incidents—Bias-related incidents, arising
from racism, sexism, and intolerance based on religion,
ethnicity, and national/tribal origin, and anti-gay and lesbian
prejudice are widespread in society and continue to be
a source of social disruption, individual suffering, and trauma.
These incidents are ubiquitous and occur in both urban and
rural areas. Such hate-based incidents consist of acts of violence
or harassment. These incidents result in emotional
and physical trauma for individuals, as well as stigmatization
of affected groups. Ethnic and cultural biases, vividly
manifested in bias-related incidents, serve to frustrate the
basic human need for dignity, resulting in despair and hopelessness
among the victims which ultimately affect the whole
nation. The APA deplores such bias-related incidents. Moreover,
the APA encourages its own members and components
to take appropriate actions in helping to prevent such events,
as well as to respond actively in the aftermath when such
bias-related incidents occur locally. (December 1992)

Psychiatric Treatment and Sexual Orientation—The potential
risks of “reparative therapy” are great, including de-pression,
anxiety and self-destructive behavior, since thera-pist
alignment with societal prejudices against homosexuality
may reinforce self-hatred already experienced by the patient.
Many patients who have undergone “reparative
therapy” relate that they were inaccurately told that homosexuals
are lonely, unhappy individuals who never achieve
acceptance or satisfaction. The possibility that the person
might achieve happiness and satisfying interpersonal relationships
as a gay man or lesbian is not presented, nor are
alternative approaches to dealing with the effects of societal
stigmatization discussed. Therefore, the American Psychiatric
Association opposes any psychiatric treatment, such as
“reparative” or “conversion” therapy which is based upon the
assumption that homosexuality per se is a mental disorder
or based upon the priori assumption that the patient should
change his/her homosexual orientation. (December 1998)
3
This fact sheet is one of a series including titles on the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (Fourth
Edition) DSM-IV; Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT); the Insanity Defense; Memories of Sexual Abuse; Patient/Therapist Sexual Contact; Pedophilia; Psychiatric Effects of Media Violence; St. John Wort; Confidentiality; When Disaster Strikes; and Violence and Mental Illness.

American Psychiatric Association • 1400 K Street, NW • Washington, DC 20005 • Phone (202) 682-6000 • Fax (202) 682-6255 • E-mail apa@psych.org • Internet: www.psych.org • APAfastFAX (toll-free fax-on-demand service) 1+(888) 357-7924.
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UGG Classic Short
UGG Classic Tall
Ugg Gypsy Sandal
Ugg Halendi Sandal
UGG Hammond Slipper
UGG Infant's Erin Baby
UGG Layback Slipper
UGG Locarno
Ugg Matala Sandal
Ugg Napoule Sandal
UGG New style
UGG Nightfall
Ugg Persephone Sandal
Ugg Skimmer
UGG Sundance
Ugg Tasmina
UGG Ultra Short
UGG Ultra Tall
UGG Women's Coquette
UGG Women's Knightsbridg
UGG Women's Mayfaire
posted by 和玄, at 12/22/2009 12:35 AM