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The BBC sent bisexual reporter David Akinsanya into the "ex-gay" ministry Love In Acton to turn him heterosexual. Needless to say, it didn't work. In fact, Akinsanya made a keen observation about the leadership.
Four days into the course, Akinsanya walked out, realising that without the religious conviction of the other participants, he could go no further. "Even the course organisers, who claim to have been converted, admitted they still struggle with homosexual feelings," he says. "They seemed to be in some strange no man's land."
Enough said. Isn't it time they close up shop and stop wasting peoples' valuable time and hard earned money?
7 Comments:
This really does say it all. A sexual no man's land. How pathetic that people would still go throug this nonsense.
posted by Anonymous, at
8/08/2005 10:55 AM
It is a very interesting article! Some things look more related to his depression and some kind of "life crisis" that we all undergo, and try to blame in different factors: Some blame it in wife, some blame it on destiny... he blame it on homosexuality, until he realized that the roots of his depression were based on his lack of acceptance to himself, rather than homosexuality.
Couple of things:
1)The fact that man-woman relationships are perceived as "normal" has nothing to do with the nature of the relationship... The NORM imposed by us tell us that it "should be" that way, and one have to be loaded with self love and real courage to challenge the norm in order to be happy.
2) I always thought that children were the result of a relationship, no the reason why people get together (ideally). Wanting kids -in my opinioin- in not reason enough to get together with a woman that may eventually be very unhappy if she ever discover that her husband is thinking about his poker buddies while having sex with her (I doubt that an "ex-gay" can really make love to a woman tha he doesn't like in the first place)
3) I understand that -as the son of a racially mixed couple- he ca be affraid of other people no treating right his kids for being the sons or daugthers of two daddies, but that shouldn't stop him. We all struggle with freaks in this world. Look at us, sons and daugthers of conventional families, we still have to listen the freak right wingers trying to convince us that we are "living in sin"
4)Even when he is a journalist for BBC, he is still loaded with unresoved issues... and he ask why is he single ! (sight) come on! a man who talk about homosexuality as "life style" have still a whole lot to deal with!
This is also true of so many men who are physically maturing, but needful of validation in other ways.
The fear of aging and becoming irrelevant in career and marriage dynamics makes heterosexual men abandon their wives or feel unsatisfied, leading them to destructive behaviors more attributed to reckless youth, than a mature person. It's easy to blame homosexuality. Gay people are a minority and diasporic. It would be harder to find a soul match in the best of circumstances. Black women like myself, who will soon be divorced and is into her late 40's would be hard pressed to find another black man with little baggage that would compromise the relationship. In fact, my husband of 12 years that abandoned me is white. I didn't lower my standards there, just had lateral ones to maximize my options. Even then, I didn't marry young. I married for the first time at age 35. Women who don't bear children (particularly by choice) suffer a great deal of prejudice in ways similar to that of gay men and women. Those of us who don't procreate find ourselves justifying why we should be breathing. In any case- stigma and unrealistic expectations tend to drive many to distraction and away from our real selves and hope for ourselves. Frustrating? Yes. Cruel? Yes... But becoming hopeless, has to be the cruelest cut of all.
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