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More women - particularly those in their late teens and 20s - are experimenting with bisexuality or at least feel more comfortable reporting same-sex encounters, according to a new report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
I can't wait to see how the right wing spins this one! I'm sure they are going to blame the "gay agenda", rather than women being more honest about their sexual orientation.
22 Comments:
As a dyke, I'm thrilled that I now have more opportunity to find my soul mate! Thank God the closet is crumbling.
Hey, just kidding. It's easier for women, they don't have to deal with the male fear of rape, so they're less threatening than gay men. Bisexuality is cool, so it doesn't surprise me there's more people doing it.
I'm not so sure if bisexuality is really what it appears to be. I'm not so convinced based on my own experience with it. My own gut feeling is that one is either gay or straight, basically. Experimenting is one thing (I did that in my late teens) but living an entire life that way, I'm not so sure. Cheating on your spouse with a woman is one thing, but with a male, neither of which are right. And what about married men who feel that cheating with a male is not adultery? Could it be about denial, the refusal to accept a gay orientation, fear of people finding out, coming out, stigma, low self-esteem about being gay? Its a screwed up world for sure. I think the majority in the ex-gay movement can testify to that.
Robert, do try to remember that the ex-gay movement is not so sure that homosexuality is really what it appears to be. They're not so sure based on their own experiences with it. Their own gut feeling is that everyone is meant to be straight, basically.
posted by Anonymous, at
9/16/2005 9:10 AM
Point taken, but we have an advantage in more ways than one. The ex-gay movement has no medical or psychiatric evidence to support what they claim they can do to convert us to heterosexuality. That'a why they're slowly losing credibility and failing.
I read that report in the paper this morning and I also think part of it is that women in general are less likely to lie about it. It said that only 3% of males identified themselves as totally homosexual. PLEEEEEZE! We all know from experience that that figure is a tad on the low side! Gary (NJ)
posted by Anonymous, at
9/16/2005 1:13 PM
Gary, of course. NIH statistical reporting recently used data from 2002 asking householders if they identified themselves as gay, bisexual, whatever, in order to get a better idea on how they could provide information on HIV related issues said that the figure may be lower than the once estimated at ten percent. Well hello NIH. Did they really think that the majority of apparently heterosexual men surveyed would be open about their true orientation, be it gay or bisexual? Of course they'll lie when its government asking you personal information, especially under this current regime. My hunch is the figure is probably in the 25% region or even more judging by the number of married men dallying with males on the side. If our society weren't so socially backward on sexuality and other issues I think those figures would indicate a whopping increase in the number who would "yes" to a gay orientation.
I'm thinking that the number is closer to 40%. Because I had a friend who went to Spain, and there the girls told him that 40% of all men in spain were gay from their experience. Or so I am told.
posted by Adam Kautz, at
9/16/2005 4:20 PM
What irks me is the all-too-frequent description of bisexuality as "experimentation." That characterization prevented me from describing myself as bi for years, when in fact that's what I am. I called myself lesbian, and then when I fell in love with a man I felt embarassed coming out a second time telling everyone, 'Oops, I was wrong, I'm really bi. ' If someone describes himself/herself as bisexual, best bet is to believe them. It's just as much garbage to tell a bisexual person that they are not, as it is to tell someone who says they're gay/lesbian that THEY are not. As a note to Robert in Bayside, I think the reason your "gut" tells you people are either gay OR straight is that you have a perception of yourself as being at one of those poles, and that is the way the world feels to you. I understand: when I was a child I considered myself homosexual, because when I saw that some people were attracted to their own sex, I assumed that like me, they were attracted to their own sex IN ADDITION to the opposite. It was years before I found out that it didn't automatically work that way. I just assumed all gays were really bi.
Susie, thank you for sharing. I'm glad you've found a wonderful man. I assume your boyfriend knows and is comfortable with it? Heterosexual males are a lot more comfortable with bisexual females than with bisexual men I think. Would you say that you now enjoy sex with him far more than you do with women? I find it fascinating.
actually robert I said that to demonstrate the huge difference between spanish society and american society, I believe if we had as much acceptance in this country as in spain and others in Europe, you would see a huge increase in the amount of open gay/lesbian/bisexuals in america. Instead of gays and bisexuals on the down low.
posted by Adam Kautz, at
9/17/2005 1:00 PM
I hate that expression (downlow), the only downlow about it is if they are cheating on their spouses; otherwise gay sex is no more downlow than hetero sex!
posted by Anonymous, at
9/17/2005 2:31 PM
I hate it too but it does describe people who refuse to be honest about themselves.
posted by Adam Kautz, at
9/17/2005 4:43 PM
Hey Robert! Thanks! I have found a wonderful partner! Yes, my husband knows I'm bi. When we got serious I thought I'd better come out to him to make sure he would be cool with it, and when I told him he said, "Oh, and this is NEWS???". He knew I was involved in LBGT activism too, which I still am. My orientation doesn't bother him. He knows he has my love and commitment. The sex is better with him than with my ex's because we have such a deep level of trust in one another - the emotional connection is out of this world. In the past there have been men and women for whom I felt more emotion than raw sexual attraction, and there have been men and women for whom I felt much more raw sexual attraction than anything else. It depends far less on what sex someone is than on the person's mind, their spirit, our level of connection and trust, what we were looking for in one another (long-term relationship or short-term adventure) and some elusive quality I would just have to attribute to pheromones (or whatever chemical causes sheer animal lust).
I also hate the term downlow. What I find bizarre is that some bisexual married men think that cheating with a male is not cheating on one's spouse. What's that all about? To me, cheating is cheating no matter if its with hetero, homo or whatever, or am I missing something?
Adam, yes, I agree with your other comment about the comparison between the Spanish and American percentile of gay men. Actually, I just finished Michelangelo Signorile's book, "Hitting Hard". According to an Italian gay activist, its thought that well over 50% of Italian gay men are married or did I read 90%? Whatever, its fascinating and would have powerful implications if certain societies, our sin particular, could lighten up and be honest about sexuality. All that oppressive religion I guess.
The reason that I believe that the numbers are so low is because it is still very hard living openly, it still takes a lot of courage. That is why I believe it is our duty to overcome all the obstacles that keep other gay men and women from being honest with themselves and society. The christian right knows that these numbers are low that is why they are fighting against us obtaining our god given rights. They know that if we obtain our rights and homosexuality becomes a non-issue that all the rest who are living A. a double life (down low). or B. are completely in the closet and are celibate.
posted by Adam Kautz, at
9/18/2005 4:35 PM
These figures and studies are hard to believe. We haven't had a society that makes it safe to disclose sexual habits and orientation. ESPECIALLY women and gay men. Plus the focus groups tend to be small. You rarely might even get an ethnic or religious breakdown because culture factors in whether or not a person is comfortable or informed about their options. As someone pointed out on another blog, there are few specifics regarding gays and lesbians. There are too many generalizations.
posted by Regan, at
9/19/2005 8:26 PM
Susie, I had the same reaction you did to the word "experimenting" being automatically slapped onto anything to do with bisexuality. I've been out as bi for 19 years, and happily monogamous with a woman for 9. Still find men attractive, still bi, still not "experimenting."
The whole study was quite interesting. Only 90% of both sexes identified as straight. About 2% of the people identified as homosexual (slightly more for me, slightly less for women), 2% bisexual (slightly less for men, slightly more for women), 4% "something else," and 2% refused to answer the question. I'm betting the "something else" included a lot of people who are attracted to both sexes but don't want to get attacked with the stereotypes about bisexuality (which we've seen on this blog, among other places).
6% of the men and 11% of the women said they'd had sex with someone of the same gender - but half of those men claimed to be straight.
Interesting that you came out as lesbian first, and later as bi. That's a common pattern among the bi women I've known, even though the stereotype is the other way around.
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