Between 1 million and 6 million children in the U.S. are being reared by committed lesbian or gay couples. According to researchers, children growing up in same-sex parental households do not necessarily have differences in self-esteem, gender identity, or emotional problems from children growing up in heterosexual parent homes.
"Lesbian couples share household responsibilities and chores more equitably," said Ellen C. Perrin, MD, professor of pediatrics at Tufts University School of Medicine in Boston. "And, the children of lesbian couples are less aggressive, more nurturing to peers, more tolerant of diversity, and more inclined to play with both boy's and girl's toys. Children seem to adjust better when there is a more equal division of labor in the home and the parental relationship with the children had a higher rating."
So, it turns out that those "traditional" patriarchal households supported by Focus on the Family actually hurt children because they do not fairly divide labor. In the Focus model, fat dad sits back and smokes even fatter cigars and drinks beer, while his barefoot and miserable wife bakes cupcakes. It turns out that having mom as the Stepford Slave is bad parenting because it sets a poor example of inequality. Kids don't respond well to the inherent unfairness. Conversely, kids in same-sex households, where both parents are respectful and equal, report greater success rates.
This should not surprise anyone. When I think back on childhood, my friends who had a lording father who treated mother like a pet, were the least happy with their home life. When it comes to family, there really is something to diversity, equality and fairness in the home. It appears irrelevant whether parents are gay or straight. What matters is love and mutual respect.
The book Don't Think Like an Elephant, which was on the NY Times best seller list, is for and should be read by all progressives. One of the points he makes in the book is that conservatives have a very patriarchal world-view; the domineering father who knows best. And liberals have a nuturing parent world-view. The author (George Lakoff) goes into detail as to how this translates into their respective politics. He also covers why gay marriage with either no daddy (lesbians) or TWO daddies, drives them bonkers. I'd rather be raised by a loving, educated, open-minded gay couple any day over the type of hetero home described by Wayne and promoted by Dobson and the rest of the christbots. Not surprising, Dobson wrote a best selling 'child rearing' book called Dare to Discipline, which, of course, promotes spanking. This is also the jerk who said fathers should wrestle and rough-house with their sons if they act too effeminate (to prevent homosexuality). The only good that will come out of that is that someday they might be on a gay wrestling team. (wink) Gary (NJ)
posted by Anonymous, at
10/13/2005 12:43 PM
James Dobson doesn't know any gay parents. But I know MANY. And most of those households have this in common-the gay adoptive parents have done so across culture, color and physical handicap lines. It's not unusual for me to know a mixed couple with two or three kids with those differences among them. So it's true that gender, color or everything else give their children the opportunity to GROW up with everyone different from themselves. The entire parent social system also reflects this so that the children are less rigid in their response to others and better adjusted for their place in the real world.
FOTF continues to mytholize and Ozzie and Harriet world that never existed for MOST people anywhere. I don't need a report to inform me. I already KNOW so many kids from gay parents homes and these kids are the hope for a truly compassionate and well informed future generation.
I have threes sons, ages 17,15 and 11 that my partner and I are raising. We are a family in ever respect! Too bad our government doesn't give us any respect!
posted by GreekChris from Calif, at
10/14/2005 3:38 PM
So you think it's good that young men play with girls toys??? When these kids accept same-sex relationships they are more prone to be gay themselves. Is that good?
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