Wayne Besen - Author, Activist, Columnist, Public Speaker

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

(Irene and Stephen Bennett)

I have long said that the "ex-gay" ministries are a divorce mill. They create unhappy marriages where the participants are not attracted to each other. While these groups like to show wedding pictures, they rarely show the divorce papers.

In USA Today, "ex-gay" leader Stephen Bennett talks about how his program is is so feckless and flimsy that merely seeing a movie can casue one of his arranged marriages to shatter.

"I just spoke with a married man on the telephone who is contemplating leaving his wife and children," says host Stephen Bennett. "He says he's gay, and Brokeback Mountain has influenced his decision. We can sadly expect to see a lot more men like former governor Jim McGreevey of New Jersey not only resigning from their jobs but from their wives, children and families."

This is called coming out of the closet and is quite healthy. I would urge people like Bennett to stop promoting divorce by having people pair up who should not be together. Not only is this cruel to the gay person, it betrays the wife/husband and children left behind.

15 Comments:

The Left Behind series so popular with the rapture-right, should really have been about these fractured, bogus families that THEY caused instead of some vapid fairytale about how they will all float bodily up to heaven after the "end times" while the rest of us will be 'left behind' in a world ruled by the anti-Christ. They've got it backwards, the anti-Christ and his minions are already in the oval office; and THEY voted them in there.
Gary (NJ)
posted by Anonymous, at 12/14/2005 2:12 PM

The lives of ex-gays are so sad. I respect everyone's right to live as they choose and certainly extend that right to "ex-gays". Of course, however, the ex-gay house of cards is so fragile that a movie like Brokeback Mountain can certainly expose the more obvious hair fractures in their illogical methodology.

It doesn't surprise me that ex-gay Stephen Bennett spoke to a gay man who was "considering leaving" his wife and kids after seeing Brokeback Mountain. The choice eventually comes down to whether or not one will adopt a false, fabricated pseudo sexuality verses adopting an honest life. There is no comparison. It might seem old hat, but we really must be true to ourselves.

Reading an online news story about Brokeback Mountain, one quote from a heterosexual man really struck me. He said, "I have never thought about the lives of gay men. I didn't know they felt the way we felt." So, this picture is crucial for this country. People of good will shall certainly respond to it.
posted by Chris L., at 12/14/2005 2:51 PM

Maybe Brokeback Mountain will be catharctic for some in the ex-gay community let alone for some bi-sexuals.

Chris...I found the comment about the man not having thought about the lives of gay people let alone that they felt the same way as straight people quite poignant and revealing. It proves a point that coming out has a more positive impact on society than staying in the closet and suffering in silence. Many of us are invisible because of it and society at large remains ignorant of our existence and who we are, just people wanting the same things, feeling the same things as they do. If anything, this film will make a signficicant impact on the lives of hetero people and their attitudes towards us...lets hope it does.

Robert, NYC.
posted by Anonymous, at 12/15/2005 12:32 PM

I don't know why straight people never assumed that gay people didn't feel the same things or want the same things.
When you ask a straight person how they decided to be straight, they often answer, they 'just got that way', it was never a decision to make.

When gay folks have said the same thing 'it just happened', there isn't a straight person alive with the qualifications to deny that.
None.

And in that regard, even LESS qualifications to destroy all else of merit a gay person has to offer society.
Being openly gay or straight, is the only thing that allows truth and honesty in our relationship with each other in this society.

Keeping anyone at a distance and not allowing them to simply say what they are, indeed, this revelation itself THREATENING a gay person, speaks to the unearned and entitled arrogance of straight people, not anything gay people are doing at the expense of non gays.

I'm not gay and what sets me apart from anti gay straight people is this:
I'm not vain, and I believe what gay people tell me and I am unafraid to know gay folks intimately and respectfully.

This isn't hard, it's not courageous.
It's merely living in the real world with all the people who share it with me and always have.

And yes...I demand that vain heteros get a damn clue they aren't the end all and be all of human existence.
posted by Regan, at 12/15/2005 12:42 PM

"When the moon is in the Seventh House
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars

This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius"

Amen, Aleluya
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