Friday, February 03, 2006
John Paulk was the king of the "ex-gay" ministries. He had appeared on Good Morning America, Oprah and 60 Minutes, telling his bizarre tale of "change." He was also on the cover of Newsweek with his "ex-lesbian" wife Anne, under the headline "GAY FOR LIFE?" Later, he went to work for Focus on the Family, running their "ex-gay" Love Won Out anti-gay road show.
All this ended, after I
photographed Paulk in a homosexual saloon in Washington. Paulk and his wife moved to Portland. Ore., never to be heard from again....
UNTIL NOW.
It turns out Paulk has embarked upon yet another transformation. But this time, he is baking more than bullshit. America's most famous failed ex-gay is now a personal chef in Portland and a graduate of Western Culinary Institute. He has opened an oh-so-gay catering business, with an oh-so-queer name -
MEZZALUNA.
You, go girl!
According to his book, "Not Afraid To Change" his new career may keep him in the closet for a very long time. In his tome, he claimed that becoming fat helped make him straight.
"My weight started to increase, and I found little desire to keep on a strict diet in order to stay fashionably slim. My very appearance was changing; I was looking less and less gay. And I was perfectly happy about it."
Interestingly, his attraction to the spotlight has not changed. He was featured in a
newspaper article about catering Super Bowl events.
Chef John Paulk, owner of Mezzaluna Personal Chef Service in Portland, offers a catered Super Bowl party package that's packed with portable foods, from deep-fried ravioli to bar cookies. "Flavored popcorns are fun, too. I make a basil-Parmesan popcorn, put it in different bowls, and spread them around the room," he says.
Look Out! When Paulk offers his "party package" that could mean a number of things. Finally, basil-Parmesan popcorn? Yeah, right, he's straight.
I wish Mr. Paulk the best of luck with his exciting new career and hope he cooks up dishes, better than he dished out lies. Now, the question on everybody's mind: Does he cater gay weddings?
46 Comments:
Good for him...there are plenty of str8t chefs so he'll fit right in.
posted by , at
2/03/2006 11:37 AM
Wayne, don't you see that more and more people are coming to the place where they don't want labels?
Where they want the freedom to love whomever they want (not just who GLBT leaders tell them to).
And that some people (who identify as gay) are getting perplexed and maybe annoyed when they're told they can't fall in love with someone of the opposite sex and still be "gay"?
Oh, but I forget...Paulk is a funda-gelical Christian. He's "the enemy", right?
posted by , at
2/03/2006 11:50 AM
I have to feel for this guy. I tried this when I was a teenager, if only subconsciously. I piled on weight to avoid having to deal with being gay, and it works...sort of. It sure as hell doesn't make you straight, but it will reduce your chances to actually do anything about being gay. Doesn't stop you from constantly thinking about it, though.
I was raised by fundamentalist Xhristians. I know just how damaging their teachings can be for gay people, how hateful they can be. I hope that at some point he accepts himself and finds happiness, if only because I could say the things about myself.
posted by , at
2/03/2006 12:15 PM
No sympathy for the fat pig. He once tried to pick me up at a gay bar in Atlanta on the sly. I told his fat ass to join the gym.
These right wing Christians make me sick.
James from Georgia
posted by , at
2/03/2006 12:29 PM
He isn't bothering us, and a catering business isn't anti-gay propaganda. Let's leave him alone. Let's hope he figures out who he is and what he wants, and lives peaceably from now on.
Susie
posted by , at
2/03/2006 12:33 PM
Sympathy? Fuck you, Susie.
I wasted seven years of my life in an ex-gay ministry because of Paulk. I'll never get those miserable years back.
And now I have to listen to so-called loving gays defend him. You people make me sick. The people on this board defending him are just trying to show they are superior, but they are really pin heads with no sense of history.
We can forgive, but let's not forget what this miserable sow did to the gay community.
You phonies can go to hell with your condescending crap. John Paulk nearly ruined my life.
D.H.
Colorado Springs
posted by , at
2/03/2006 12:41 PM
I'll give this guy sympathy once I see him with a male significant other or once he publicly apologizes for helping to cause pain, suffering, and anguish to the thousands of gay men and lesbians who were deceived into a cycle of disgusting self-hate endorsed by a corrupted form of Christianity. Until then, this person deserves absolutely nothing from the gay community but scorn.
--Johnny in Minneapolis
posted by , at
2/03/2006 12:49 PM
I am happy to know and accept my sexual orientation, because of Society's unaceptance of homosexuals I have tried to change,But I was'nt happy or felt honest, if anything it tought me to be who I am, and my sexual orientation does'nt mean I go out having sex every night, actuly it's been a good long while becase I am choosey and don't want just 1 night stands, I wish to find the 1 person to develope a relationship with-- Not all of us gay men are sex hungry sluts.
Ken
posted by , at
2/03/2006 1:03 PM
"Leave him alone," someone on this board suggests? That's a load of baloney. When John decided to enter the political arena with the "ex-gay" message, he made himself and his assertions fair game.
When he joined radical bigot James Dobson and got on his payroll, he opened himself up to criticism. When he and his wife made the front cover of a national news magazine, it was incumbent upon us to counter his untruths. Young gay kids have struggled for years with this "ex-gay" crap. Who exactly should be leaving who alone here?
If John Paulk had married a woman and just lived his life, no one would have cared one bit. But he entered the public arena with a message, and people have a right to respond to that.
posted by , at
2/03/2006 1:27 PM
A person with his emotional difficulties wouldn't and shouldn't surprise any of us with this weight situation.
People turn to food to comfort themselves, as easily as sex or other things.
Of course this is exploited in context to being gay and the root of all these other problems (as if straight people don't have them too.)
However, I doubt Paulk would do anything to speak out on the destructiveness of obesity.
Not only on individual health, but in what costs to productivity and public health expenses.
Nor would Exodus expect him to.
When ex gay ministries speak of homosexuality as an addiction that's dangerous, they won't admit for a minute that homosexuality doesn't resemble ANY of the many things they say it does.
Being gay doesn't make you suffer from obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, breathing and mobility problems.
Food is essential to living, obviously.
So is love and social compatibility.
How one goes about it, whether in excess or unsafely isn't discussed in ex gay ministries apart from homosexuality.
It's the biases that are dangerous.
I know there are groups out there that advocate for fat acceptance.
But they confuse the aesthetic with the physical substance of obesity and don't have margins for degree of overweight.
But acceptance of gay people is far more productive and healthy in the long run.
Which is really the point.
Caterers and food experts are and can be celebrities in their own right.
Or at the very least, require advertising.
This is another avenue for applause and attention.
Paulk a people kind of guy. He likes the interaction.
Good for him...
But longing to belong can be exploited...and that's the root of Exodus ministry.
But Paulk seems to still be a basically screwed up person and shame on Exodus for putting forth such people as the means to purvey that gay people are perpetually as messed up as John Paulk claims to have been.
posted by Regan, at
2/03/2006 1:38 PM
How dare you come on here and tell me "Fuck you"? Being tortured by those ex-gay ministries is horrible and I will NEVER condone people who did that to you. No matter how many times you say Fuck You to me. I didn't say anything about having sympathy. I said, a catering business is not an ex-gay ministry. Maybe he is - thank God - DONE with that. If he is leaving us alone now, we ought to leave him alone and not go out of the way to poke fun. That solves nothing. Telling me Fuck You will not retrieve those years for you. Trying to make me feel bad won't do anything good for anyone.
Susie
posted by , at
2/03/2006 1:56 PM
I clicked on the Mezzaluna link and loved the picture of Miss Paulk clapping, surrounded by fairy dust with the tag line "It's Magical!" Very butch, Mr. Straight Man. I also noted the recommendation from some Focus on the Family folks.
All kidding aside, I have a great deal of sympathy for people who are involved in ex-gay ministries. There have been so many lives needlessly damaged. But, I have absolutely no sympathy for people like Paulk who profit off the misery of others.
posted by Sam, at
2/03/2006 2:19 PM
I just went to his catering site and read the testimonials Paulk solicited from "Focus on the Family" leaders. He's still aligning himself with right wing bigots against his own community! He deserves NO sympthy! He deserves our complete disgust and scorn. Shame on him. He is a revolting Uncle Tom.
posted by , at
2/03/2006 2:53 PM
That asparagus photo on the accolades page of the Mezzaluna website is quite telling.......
posted by Scott, at
2/03/2006 4:07 PM
He can do whatever he wants with his twisted life, while he live the life he chooses and I do the one mother nature gave me.
I just hope he will not be catering to gay wedings... because that will be fucked up!
posted by , at
2/03/2006 5:17 PM
DH, that was a vicious thing to say to Susie.
I don't doubt that Paulk caused you problems, but Paulk is the one to curse out, right?
posted by Regan, at
2/03/2006 8:12 PM
Regan, it's transference. Paulk isn't available so its psychologically transferred to Suzy.
posted by , at
2/04/2006 11:50 AM
Chris L and Regan, I agree with both your statements, and thank you both. I thought about just drifting off this board and not reading anymore, but I'm glad I came back. I know that DH's anger is at Paulk. But I too felt DH was vicious, and this is the first time someone has ever written those words to me in my life, which I why I reacted so much.
But! Also, I think I should have been much more aware of the fact that by posting what I did, I was walking on a minefield, considering how much (justifiable) outrage is floating around in our community, especially regarding ex-gaydom (kind of the point of Wayne's blog, after all). These comment pages are often used just for venting that anger.
DH, I stand by what I said in my second post: saying what you did to me only hurt my feelings, it didn't punish Paulk for his wrongs, and it didn't make any part of the situation better. But, I should have said in my original post that in no way did I mean to excuse the horrors he contributed to, and in case you thought it was implied, I never meant to suggest that Paulk should be blindly defended at the expense of your feelings. My heart breaks for what was done to our community, and is still being done! You are one example among thousands, and my God - Seven years??!!! I'm so sorry.
DH, there's more. It occurs to me now that if you spent 7 years surrounded by people who talked a great game about "love" and "compassion," but who only demonstrated cruelty and hypocrisy, there could be no other way for you to interpret my remarks - according to your experience, I had to have been some kind of hypocrite or phony, because all those other people turned out to be. No, you're not with *them* anymore! That's over! - I'll tell you what I'm really thinking and really feeling, whatever it is, as it happens. And I would never put an anti-gay crusader's heart before an innocent and suffering gay person's. I meant only that if Paulk had gone on and started a non-politicized business, then he was not troubling us in the present, and we shouldn't go looking for a fight that may have been over.
Now, it appears I was wrong about that! I wasn't interested enough to go to his catering website, but according to several of you posting here, the website contains some kind of endorsement from or links to Focus on the Family. That means my first belief - that Paulk was done with us - is wrong, and if so I won't cling to it. If this character is still promoting hideous lies about the gay community, I think it warrents our continued outcry. Anger, scorn, you name it, he has stirred it up himself.
I'm sorry that what I wrote before came across like I didn't care about the wounds my gay brothers and lesbian sisters have endured. Personally, I believe there is no suffering more hideous than to despise one's SELF, and while I know Paulk must endure it , my feelings go FIRST to those who are his innocent victims. While I would defend Paulk if I ever believed he was being unfairly wronged, please know that I will always defend my innocent brothers and sisters first. Always.
Susie
posted by , at
2/04/2006 12:51 PM
Suzie:
I apologize for going off on you. I read an article on John Paulk once and was so inspired that I entered years of a dark and awful journey. I'm still gay...
Becasue of him, I became suicidal and depressed and almost committed suicide. So, I get emotional about John Paulk.
Still, that was no reason for me to go off and bark at you. I hope you accept my apology.
D.H.
Colorado Springs
posted by , at
2/04/2006 1:08 PM
John Paulk once tried to pick me up in a gay bar in Denver. He was dressed in drag. I'm just glad he's out of the whole ex-gay thing. But it is still a shame he is in bed with Focus on the Family.
posted by , at
2/04/2006 1:34 PM
Oh God!!!!!! (((((( DH ))))))
So it was *literally* because of Paulk that you entered that ex-gay ministry????!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my god, I'm so sorry.
What a horrible hell to endure. The fact that you were so close to suicide is horrible and terrifying. Of COURSE your apology is accepted! I'm glad you accepted mine! Those horrible things should have never been taught/said/done to you. You shouldn't have had to pay for the ignorance of others with so many years of your life. Thank God you survived. All the best to you from the bottom of my heart.
Susie
posted by , at
2/04/2006 2:40 PM
Much drama and stereotyping on this blog. We are all adults here and responsible for our adult decisions, even to follow John Paulk for seven years.
DH gambled and lost. It happens to all of us and we learn.
There is nothing like ventilating bitterness to entrench somone's power over us for more than seven years. John does what he does because he believes it. We all choose who to follow and bear the responsibility of being followers of others dreams or creators of our own.
Another thing: stereotyping and cheap shots. So the guy's got a new career. Now all chef's are gay?!?!? Now someone has all the insight into the gay symbolism in his pictures at his web site?!?!? Now you call him a fat pig or a sow?!?!?!?
Listen to yourselves, read what you write; you are becoming as judgemental and cliche as the people you claim to hate.
posted by , at
2/05/2006 11:17 AM
Let that ugly, fat, tripple-chinned pig wallow in the mud and eat hay.
NO SYMPATHY!!!!!!!!!!
F.D. in Fargo
posted by , at
2/06/2006 5:30 PM
At least he's doing something honest, something that actually has to be done as advertised in order for him to get paid, something that may even help somebody.
I'm dismayed that he still has the validation of FOTF and other right-wingers--those reviews show that he hasn't burned his bridges. But I'd still love to see more ex-gays quit trying to wreck gay and bisexuals' lives and live theirs as happily as possible instead.
posted by CrackerLilo, at
2/08/2006 1:12 AM
I feel compelled to offer an account of my recent experiences with John Paulk.
He employed me to assist him in marketing his new business with the full knowledge that I am a gay man.
During the course of my research into his market, I discovered his past. For weeks, I struggled with how to proceed. My business is new, so I do not have the luxury of turning down potential clients. I kept coming back to one thought: he is willing to work with an out gay man because he either has put his past behind him or he intends to try to convert me. It is very clear that he has no intention of trying to convert me. In fact, religion has not come up in any of our conversations.
Since we are working closely on several campaigns, John has become a friend, too. He helped me tremendously by simply listening to me rant after the breakup of my relationship. He has cooked for several gay households.
I must admit that I have never broached the subject of his past in conversation. I will do that soon. However, my dealings with him thoroughly convince me that he is no longer pursuing his "ministry."
The ironic thing is that it was my work on his behalf that lead to the newspaper article that has made him a subject of this blog.
I think it is incorrect to say that the endorsements from Focus on the Family mean he is still active in trying to convert people. He cooked for them, they liked it, he asked for an endorsement, they gave it.
So, I don't really know how important it is that John Paulk is now a client and friend of an out gay man - I am sure there will be many interpretations of this. I appreciate what many of you have said about letting people get on with their lives and I also understand the many people who feel that John adversely affected their lives personally and our lives collectively. Perhaps it is time I had a good chat with my friend...
posted by , at
2/13/2006 9:55 PM
John is still out there....and gay as ever....hitting on gay men in the Portland area. He lives in my neighborhood and he is still active in FOF.
posted by , at
4/09/2007 3:46 AM
Now let's see. All we know about him, other than from anonymous posters with unknown motives, is that he is a successful businessman who is married with kids, who has struggled with homosexual attraction in past, and who has never disavowed his position that homosexuality is a sin to which many people are susceptible.
The rest is an avalanche of speculative bigotry from people who don't like the idea that homosexuality might be bad behavior.
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posted by 微風情趣廣場, at
4/25/2010 1:04 PM
Do you know how to convert avi to iphone? here, i would like to recommend you this ultra AVI to iPhone converter, which can help you convert any avi file to iphone format easily and quickly, you can download it and have a wonderful try! you may also interested in iPhone to Mac Transfer and iPhone to Computer Transfer.
posted by Titanic, at
5/05/2010 1:22 AM
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