Wednesday, April 19, 2006
(Weekly Column)When fundamentalists are confronted with evidence that contradicts religious dogma, they like to dismiss the inconvenient facts by saying that God is testing their faith. But in the past few weeks, God has given the faithful so many tests, that President Bush ought to appoint Him to run "No Child Left Behind."
First, the right wing was presented with a crushing
$2.5 million study that said the power of group prayer was ineffective and provided no benefit to patients recovering from cardiac bypass surgery. In fact, 59 percent of patients who knew they were being prayed for had complications, compared to 51 percent of the patients who did not receive prayers. A few more of these studies and patients will pray that no one is praying for them. Of course, prayer can be a positive force, but it should be a humble and reverent matter, not the showy and superstitious domain of the audacious and ostentatious.
If you think about it, this study makes a lot of sense, with prayer often leading to the law of unintended consequences. For example, in the past two decades countless teams of Neo-Puritans have prayed for homosexuals to be delivered out of "bondage." In that same time period, however, the number of gay men and women who are just plain out has increased dramatically.
In another divine test, a 375 million year old fossil
was found that scientists say is a long-sought missing link in the evolution from fish to walking life forms. Before the discovery, advocates of
Intelligent Design had claimed that the fact such a link was missing undermined the theory of Evolution. I guess
medieval minds will go back to the
drawing board to dream up their next
Creationist scheme.
Meanwhile, we have learned that Judas may not have been a betrayer of Jesus, but his best friend. The
Gospel of Judas is particularly devastating to fundamentalism because it shows their religion is not as absolute as they suggest. The idea of preaching God's "word" becomes questionable when we keep digging up new words.
Who is to say that we won't stumble upon a hidden text buried in a Vatican vault where Paul comes out of the closet and goes to a circuit party in Babylon? Or maybe we will come to find that Sodom was not actually destroyed, but gentrified by gays and the writers of the Old Testament were simply bitter because they were priced out of their apartments.
Neo-Puritans might want to escape the modern world by retreating to the comfortable confines of
Wal-Mart. But inside the Big Box are little boxes stuffed with DVDs of Brokeback Mountain. And coming soon to the Big Screen is the Da Vinci Code, starring Tom Hanks, which will have religious conservatives reeling.
When all else fails, the right wing will return to gay bashing, which is what it intends to do as midterm elections approach. However, there is even bad news on this front. A new Pew Research Center for the People and the Press
poll shows that only 51 percent of people oppose allowing gay people the freedom to marry, compared to a whopping 63 percent in 2004. At this rate, Pat Robertson will be performing gay weddings by 2010.
In search of a new scapegoat, conservatives thought they had a sure winner in Mexican-bashing. What they did not expect was that the people who cleaned their houses, would clean their clocks in the battle over public opinion. Hundreds of thousands of immigrants attended boisterous protest rallies across America, causing angst among GOP political operatives who are afraid this issue might cost the party Arizona, New Mexico and Nevada in future elections.
If this isn't bad enough, George W. Bush, the man the fundamentalists catapulted into the Oval Office as the "Chosen One" is plummeting in the polls. At the same time, key
former Generals are no longer playing ball with Donald Rumsfeld, while Dick Cheney is getting
rancorously booed at that great bastion of liberalism - the major league baseball park.
Finally, a new study reported in the Journal of Research Into Personality
reveals that confident, resilient, self-reliant kids mostly grow up to be liberals, while whiney, habitual complainers grow up to be conservatives. The existence of Robert Novak, Bill O Reilly and Tucker Carlson seem to back the study's conclusions.
God has tested Neo-Puritans and they have received a report card pockmarked with Fs. A group that anoints itself moral and then chooses
Tom DeLay as its prophet and Bush as its savior, can't be surprised when they encounter disasters of biblical proportions.
29 Comments:
While I have no use for fundamentalist religion; I have to say that the 'power of prayer' study had some major flaws it it. Dr. Larry Dossey (no bible beater) has done research and written a number of books supporting the power of prayer in healing and medicine. The difference is though, that his studies involved people who were praying with compassion and love for someone they knew; not the nameless, faceless assemblyline 'prayer' of this study. Before this study was even done, Dossey heard about it and said it will never work and they'll get negative results. Bingo! I'm spiritual but not religious and am glad to see the fundos finally getting the crap kicked out of their pathetically antiquated Weltanschauung!
posted by , at
4/19/2006 9:43 AM
Sounds like the fundos prayers about gays being delivered from bondage is being answered. We're being delivered from THEM more and more everyday.
Gary (NJ)
posted by , at
4/19/2006 9:55 AM
>confident, resilient, self-reliant kids mostly grow up to be liberals, while whiney, habitual complainers grow up to be conservatives.
Oh, that's wonderful! I have fretted a great deal about the direction in which the religious right has taken the country, so this article is very heartening to me.
posted by , at
4/19/2006 10:14 AM
The Neo-Puritans seem to violate virtually every core value of what I learned of Christianity (although it WAS in a Catholic high school): compassion, forgiveness, peace, humility, and most especially, love for your fellow man. Granted, this means nothing coming from an ex-Catholic-turned-pagan-humanist, but I do find it interesting.
--Johnny in Minneapolis
posted by , at
4/19/2006 10:50 AM
When I was young, repressed and growing up in a small southern town I used to pray so hard for God to make me straight, like the other boys. Now that I'm out and living an honest life, I believe my prayers were answered, just not in the way I intended when I was a kid. That's what I believe is happening to all those fundamentalist prayers for gays to change. God is hearing them and answering them, just not with the answer they want. The answer they're getting is waves of gays coming out and demanding change.
posted by Sam, at
4/19/2006 2:04 PM
If you’re looking for a book which points out inaccuracies in the Bible, read THE SINS OF SCRIPTURE by John Shelby Spong. He details how fundamentalists throughout the ages have used the Bible to further their own misogynist, homophobic, bigoted and anti-Semitic agenda.
posted by , at
4/19/2006 5:20 PM
First of all it is a pleasure to see an intelligent article and comments that doesn't Blame OR Include "ALL" Christians for the actions of this petty, selfish, arrogant group of Fundamentalist, expecially since the Progressives have been trying so hard to distance themselves from these hair brain radicals/Extremists!
Prayer in my opinion, is very helpful for those people you know and friends of people you know. It makes them feel good to know someone else is thinking of them and wishing them well which lessens their anxiety and helps in the mental healing process. A healthy mind and attitude helps in the healing and if that person dies, then it was a way of relieving their anxiety to their end. The saying goes, that even though it seems that GOD does not listen to your prayers HE is still there and is still lisenting. The end result is, what ever happens, happens.
posted by , at
4/19/2006 7:51 PM
I admit this is well written. But in the end, the queers will pay when they meet there maker. No fancy words will keep you people from the underworld of fire below.
I can look forward to heaven as a Christian, can you?
Duke K.
Indiana
posted by , at
4/19/2006 9:18 PM
If heaven is filled with self righteous, hateful bogots like Duke K- count me out.
jaylen in San Diego
posted by , at
4/19/2006 10:03 PM
of course I meant biggots
posted by , at
4/19/2006 10:06 PM
DUKE SAID:
"I admit this is well written. But in the end, the queers will pay when they meet there maker. No fancy words will keep you people from the underworld of fire below.
I can look forward to heaven as a Christian, can you?"
Duke K.
Indiana
*********************************
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, ROTFLMAO!!
Duke, that's where you're fundamentally wrong. WE'LL ALL be heaven you moron. GOD accepts everyone, even the likes of YOU, bigot!! But I'm sure sometime before you get there you'll go through hell first for your stupidity (1) and (2)for constantly misquoting Jesus in the New Testament. Remember HIS greatest Commandment moron? So I guess you just don't love yourself at all.
posted by , at
4/20/2006 12:49 AM
Duke must feel much pain. In my town there are many Christians who feel that the flaws that desecrate modern life are the fault of many. We are being called by ministers who claim Jesus. They do not know Jesus.
They are crying out for people to cease using scripture to demean people - to demean and question our humanity - the humanity of all.
Their lives are filling with the love of many who have been hurt by modern society, and in equal measure have been hurt deeply by hateful reading of scripture.
They welcome - they provide the hospitality that was lacking in Sodom - turning people away, closing the gates to the 'stranger', wishing to take advantage of the beautiful.
Wayne, you are beautiful. You would have been like an angel in Sodom.
Duke must know his sin.
Can we all welcome him? This is the most difficult thing for those of us who listen to our hearts, our minds, our souls, and our principles. It's even more complicated when we listen for the sacred wisdom of the texts. They are not clear but our protests to Duke share the voice of prophets of old, railing against a system that demeans us all.
Some of us have moved beyond our meanness, as the Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King Junior would have wanted.
posted by , at
4/20/2006 1:36 AM
The only 'fire below' in Duke's life is, undoubtedly, the big dick he's getting shoved up his ass behind closed doors after his sanctimonious postings on the site.
B. Queer
posted by , at
4/20/2006 9:20 AM
No 'fancy words' Duke?! You remind me of the fat obnoxious redneck in the hirin' trailer in Brokeback Mountain.
Gary (NJ)
posted by , at
4/20/2006 9:22 AM
Duke,
If your Heaven is filled with people like you, I embrace Hell gladly. I would hate to spend eternity with millions of people as ignorant, bigoted, and hateful as you. In fact, I'm pretty sure I have a penthouse overlooking the Lake of Fire waiting for me.
--Johnny in Minneapolis
posted by , at
4/20/2006 10:41 AM
Threats of hell reveal the most about fundamentalists - they have no other power than to threaten people into submission. How sad that such superstition still works on as many people as it does.
Hell is only as real as you believe it to be. I'll stick with reason.
posted by , at
4/20/2006 11:32 AM
Ok, folks, to be fair to Duke, he didn't talk about Hell. So let's not put words in his mouth.
And Duke, to answer your question: yeah. I'm a Christian and I believe that after this life I'll be with God. But I certainly don't live my life based on a reward/punishment system.
If I thought I'd get to heaven by restricting the neighborhoods that Jews could live in, I still wouldn't do it. If I thought I'd avoid Hell by supporting the Bible-sanctioned institution of slavery, I'd risk Hell. If I thought God wanted me to set up one set of laws for straight people and another for gay people, I'd say I had no use for that type of god.
Sometimes you have to do what's right even in the face of "eternal punishment".
However, I don't think that God answers to the conservative Christian politicians. And I don't take my religous instruction from those who were completely wrong on slavery, civil rights, treatment of other faiths, and just about every other social issue you can think of.
So I'll do what I believe to be moral (oddly enough, it's consistent with the teachings of Jesus). I'll treat people with respect and equality. And I'll leave the judging to God.
(my appologies to those who aren't Christian - not trying to proselytize or exclude anyone)
Timothy Kincaid
posted by , at
4/23/2006 7:55 PM
As a Christian, I believe in God. And I think he has a very ironic and twisted sense of humor.
Just about the time some televangelist says that God's going to send hurricanes to punish the gays, a hurricane rips the roof off of Coral Ridge's big anti-gay church. And let some right-wing nut start in about "sinners" and you just know that his orgy with underage hookers is going to hit the news.
So I think maybe we should start a campaign to pray that "God changes the hearts of the voters to fight the evils of gay marriage." We'd probably have full marriage equality by the end of the year - and you know God will be laughing.
Timothy Kincaid
posted by , at
4/23/2006 8:05 PM
TIMOTHY KINKAID SAID: "Ok, folks, to be fair to Duke, he didn't talk about Hell. So let's not put words in his mouth".
DUKE SAID: "No fancy words will keep you people from the underworld of fire below". AND:
"I can look forward to heaven as a Christian, can you"?
NOW what exactly is the underworld of fire below if not HELL? Also in his assertion that HE can look forward to heaven (and his question "can you?" is the implication that (in his opinion)no we can not. Rather we can look forward to an eternity in hell. He may not have used the word Hell but that is just a technicality-really.
Jaylen in San Diego
posted by , at
4/24/2006 1:14 PM
I don't give a hooey about heaven or hell. Living an honest and ethical life for the "now" is enough of a challenge for me. SW
posted by , at
4/24/2006 8:16 PM
Ooooooooooooops
OK... I misspoke on that one. You're right, Duke did talk about the "fire below".
Timothy
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