Wayne Besen - Author, Activist, Columnist, Public Speaker

Friday, May 19, 2006

The Rev. Pat Robertson says God has told him that storms and possibly a tsunami will hit America's coastline this year.

The founder of the Christian Broadcasting Network has told viewers of "The 700 Club" that the revelations came to him during his annual personal prayer retreat in January.

"If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will be lashed by storms," Robertson said May 8.

He added specifics in Wednesday's show.

"There well may be something as bad as a tsunami in the Pacific Northwest," he said.

The scary thing is that he is bound to get it right one day out of pure dumb luck. When this happens, all of the idiots in America will think he is a phrophet. I can see the headlines now: "IS PAT GOD?"

20 Comments:

Undoubtedly, he will blame us for its cause since we're the scapegoat for virtually everything that is wrong with this society. Believer it or not, these lunatics are on the decline hard as it may seem. In the absence of their bigoted religious belief system, I wonder if they would be so obsessed with us? Money was always considered the root of all evil, but I honestly believe that religion is the real culprit.

Robert, NYC.
posted by Anonymous, at 5/19/2006 7:47 AM

I guess what gets my goat is there are people who actually waste their time watching this guy on t.v.

Robert, money is not the root of all evil: the LOVE of money is; and nobody loves it more than a televangelist!
posted by Anonymous, at 5/19/2006 11:30 AM

Thanks anonymous, you're absolutely right the LOVE of money is the root of all evil and religion is not the culprit But IGNORANCE is!

"IS PAT GOD?" ahhhhhhhhhahahahaha Pat is Gored, Pat is Hammered, But Pat will Never, Ever be God OR even considered as such!!!

Of course he's bound to get it right one of these days ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahaha--- NOT!
posted by Dominick, at 5/19/2006 11:40 AM

Well, if you believe the theory about earthquakes - that they follow paths - then yeah, he might be right. There have been several earthquakes along the "ring of fire" and that could very well be setting off the earthquke that sets off a tsunami. Is this a revelation from God??? - NO.
posted by mary, at 5/19/2006 12:20 PM

From Baudelaire's options for intoxication (Be Drunk), dear Pat has chosen virtue. Yet, his rantings would suggest wine as another possibility. Was there ever a greater need for detoxification?
Yes, one of these fearful days one of his apocalyptic predictions will come true. Then, heaven help us.
posted by Christopher's Partner, at 5/19/2006 12:51 PM

I can't wait for a tsunami to hit Virginia Beach so that Pat Robertson would eat his own words.

Blood From Machines
San Diego, CA
posted by Anonymous, at 5/19/2006 1:13 PM

What a coincidence! God talked to me in a dream last night too!!! He told me that there would be tornados this summer in Oklahoma, Kansas, Missouri and a couple of other states along the central US corridor known as "Tornado Alley". He also confirmed that He told Pat that he was sending hurricanes that would do lots of damage. And HERE’S the important part of the message, He told me things that only He would know in order to prove to you that I am His Divine Messenger. He was VERY specific in pinpointing exactly what countries the hurricanes would hit and where in those countries the hurricanes would make landfall. I have been authorized to pass this information on to you heathens. Firstly, they will only hit countries in the northern and western hemisphere (North America) that have coastlines on the Atlantic Ocean, Caribbean Sea or Gulf of Mexico. AND, here’s the most amazing revelation, they will only make landfall…wait for it….wait for it…ALONG THE COASTS! I know, I know, it seems far-fetched and beyond the realm of possibility. I can just hear all the heathens and doubters screaming, “That’s just crazy talk. It’s IMPOSSIBLE!”. To the doubters I say, with God all things are possible. He doesn’t have to follow the laws of nature. If He decides that He wants to flip nature on its head and send hurricanes to the coasts of North America this summer, He will. Hallelujah!!

The last thing He wanted me to tell you that he isn’t only a God of wrath. He is also a God of grace. He spares those who do His bidding. He made it abundantly clear to me that He will spare those who follow Him AND vote Republican. Therefore he will not, and I repeat, WILL NOT allow the solidly red states of Utah, Idaho and Wyoming, otherwise known as the “Holy Land”, (did I forget to mention that He told me that He was a Mormon?) to be struck by hurricanes in 2006. He will cover these righteous states with His protective hand and will not allow one hair will to be blown or one hurricane related raindrop to fall in the land of milk and honey and Las Vegas family values. Praise be to God!

On second thought maybe it was hurricanes hitting Tornado Alley states and tornados on the coast. Anyway, tomato/tomAto, it was one or the other. I was a knee walkin drunk when I went to bed (puts me in the right frame of mind and ideal position for prayin), so I may have gotten a few of the nitty gritty details confused. Come to think of it, maybe that’s why good ole Pat qualified his statement by saying, “If I heard the Lord right…” He was probably sleeping off a couple of bottles of communion wine too. Regardless, I am absolutely positive that the Lord said unto me, “NO hurricanes for Utah, Idaho and Wyoming in 2006!!”

I guess the bottom line of my Divine Message was that there will be exactly the same kind of weather in 2006 that there has been for the last 200+ years, adjusting, of course, for global warming. Since the Lord threw in the so-called “global warming” factor, I can only assume that He didn’t get the memo from Pat, Jerry and Exxon explaining how GW (the theory, not the Prophet) is just another wacko, heathen, humanist, tree-hugging, commie, liberal conspiracy theory, like evolution, designed to destroy America, Big oil, the family and the church. Or maybe He was all liquored up too and didn’t realize He was talking liberaleese.

Anyway, like all good Christianists, I don’t think or ask questions. I just listen and repeat. I have prophesied and you've been warned.

If you would like to support my ministry, and YOU WILL once my prophecies come to pass, please send all donations to GFA (Gullible Fucks of America), c/o The 700 Club, Jesusland USA.
posted by Hayden, at 5/19/2006 3:18 PM

"Money was always considered the root of all evil, but I honestly believe that religion is the real culprit."

Actually it's the love of money that's the root of all evil, not money itself.

Sometimes its seems that some religions are based on the love of money.

Timothy
posted by Anonymous, at 5/19/2006 5:13 PM

Money is no more the root of all evil than extremism. One extremely irrational position can not be effectively countered by another extremely irrational position. Balance is the single most important key to all life. Seek harmony, work to bring balance and your possibilities are endless. In my book Core Success Journal I reveal the most common cause of thoughtless mobs if irrational extremists. I hope you will all enjoy it.
posted by Charles (Bill) Carpenter, at 5/22/2006 10:22 PM

YOU DIDN'T POST MY FULL QUOTE. WHAT I SAID WAS:

"If I heard God right about 2006... and maybe I didn't... cause He was getting pretty bad reception on his phone... and I was driving through a tunnel at the time... my music was a little too loud... and the Dude doesn't enunciate very clearly... anyway I think there will be a tsunami... either that or a salami... man, I could use a submarine sandwich"
~Pat Robertson
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