Wednesday, August 29, 2007
(Weekly Column)Somehow, the idea of furtive bathroom sex seemed more in vogue when pop icon George Michael was arrested. Now, the guy in the stall next to you is likely a gay obsessed mayor, an undercover cop or a crusty old conservative legislator. With such unappetizing menu choices, one has to be quite desperate and pathetic to try to find his man in the can - especially with the advent of the Internet, which can deliver a pick-up faster than a pizza.
So, the few remaining men who seek to cruise the commode are mostly married conservative hypocrites looking for love on the sly. Exhibit A is Larry Craig, a married Republican Senator from Idaho who pleaded guilty to soliciting a police officer for sex at the Minneapolis airport in June.
The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force pointed out that Craig supported both the Federal Marriage Amendment and Idaho's anti-same-sex marriage constitutional amendment. He is not supportive of nondiscrimination and hate crimes legislation that would extend protections to gay people and has even refused to pledge that his own office would not discriminate against LGBT people. (Was he afraid of temptation?)
The Senator's tortured attempts to explain away the obvious were as comical as they were tragic.
"At the time of this incident, I complained to the police that they were misconstruing my actions," Craig said. "I should have had the advice of counsel in resolving this matter. In hindsight, I should not have pled guilty. I was trying to handle this matter myself quickly and expeditiously."
How were they misconstruing it? We all know what it means if you shake it more than five times. The fact is, Craig was tapping his foot and reaching under the stall, and seemed to be quite adept at giving the arcane signals necessary for a fling between flights.
Yet, astoundingly, the Senator sounded a defiant note at his press conference implausibly denying his homosexuality. "I am not gay. I never have been gay," said Craig.
Airports can be quite boring and, perhaps, he was just a straight guy passing the time, rather than making a pass at a clandestine cop. But, this isn't the first time Craig has been tied to bathroom cruising. Activist extraordinaire Mike Rogers had previously revealed that Craig was a known cruiser at Washington's notorious Union Station restrooms. Yes, I also realize that there is little to do while waiting for trains. May I suggest the Senator travel by car -with a driver - next time?
How many of these incidents will it take before America realizes that the family values crowd is a big, fat fraud? They are a batch of moralizing molesters, pious pervs, closeted creeps and values voyeurs. It is time the right just closes shop and stops pointing fingers - because we have no idea where those sticky fingers have been.
In recent memory, we have been treated to Florida Republican Rep. Mark Foley's preoccupation with teenage pages; The National Association of Evangelical's leader Ted Haggard's working relationship with escort Mike Jones; Florida Republican legislator
Bob Allen getting arrested in a park restroom for soliciting oral sex from a police officer; The arrest of Southern Baptist Convention leader
Lonnie Latham in Oklahoma City on a lewdness complaint for allegedly propositioning a plainclothes policeman; and Indiana Young Republican National Federation leader
Glenn Murphy resigning after police charged him with sexually assaulting a Young Republican friend, while his comrade was napping in a drunken stupor.
Forgive me if I missed a tawdry scandal, but I would need a Republican database of disgrace to keep track. Or, I could always call Fort Lauderdale Mayor Jim Naugle for the "facts." The mayor is so gay sex obsessed that he recently tried to raid the city's treasury to buy robo-johns to prevent gay men from getting it on. But, it turned out the mayor may actually have issues, when the police said gay bathroom sex was a non-issue.
If people, such as Naugle, have problems with restroom sex, they only have themselves to blame. Fundamentalism is the primary cause, not the solution to such behavior. People such as the moralizing mayor have made every effort to publicly shame gay people - inevitably driving some individuals to join conservative political movements and engage in shameful actions.
Interestingly, Fort Lauderdale televangelist D. James Kennedy, who Naugle praises as a great man, retired the same week that Sen. Craig's secret was revealed. Kennedy's church, Coral Ridge Ministries, was the lead sponsor of the 1998 million-dollar ex-gay "Truth In Love Campaign," that caused a national uproar. While the religious right heaps effusive praise on Kennedy, the Craig incident reminds us that Kennedy-type anti-gay crusades have probably lead more closeted married men to bathroom glory holes, than to the glory of God.
19 Comments:
I've been out since 1977 and even I had to read the article to find out what the 'signals' were for soliciting someone in a restroom. I have always found the idea of meeting someone for sex in a toilet revolting; the smell alone is enough to kill the libido, let alone what you might have to listen to whilst waiting for an applicant to show up. Besides, at Craig's age, while waiting for his flight, you'd think he'd be content to just read a good book (but not, of course, in a bathroom stall)-- yuck!
posted by , at
8/29/2007 9:55 AM
Wayne you crack me up! The following line is a classic:
"So, the few remaining men who seek to cruise the commode are mostly married conservative hypocrites looking for love on the sly."
You are too funny!
posted by , at
8/29/2007 2:02 PM
The more these hypocrites are exposed and I'm all for outing them especially whey they support antigay legislation, the more it becomes apparent that it is they who are the threat to the sanctity of marriage, not marriage equality. Nobody in the media is saying this man intended to commit adultery by his sleazy behavior in a men's restroom. About time someone brought it up. Isn't it interesting that he repeatedly said he wasn't gay, his first defense. Why didn't he say he was straight instead? Quite revealing!
posted by , at
8/29/2007 2:23 PM
Craig is a classic republican liar and a cheat. He claims he's not gay yet he pleaded guilty to the offense. Please....any normal, reasonably intelligent person wouldn't plead guilty to something they claim they didn't do.
To digress, I was listening to the Lionel Show this morning on Air America regarding the Craig debacle. The host encouraged Log Cabiners to call in to explain why they support republicans. One very self-centered fool called in to say that all he cared about was lower taxes, the war in Iraq and fighting terrorism (classic republican); but when asked about marriage equality he said..."I have no intention of marrying and I don't need any government making special laws saying that its ok to be gay". He didn't think that equality was high on the list of priorities for gay people either. So I came away from the program firmly convinced that there is something intrinsically wrong with gay people who vote for a party that clearly does not believe in inclusion let alone equality.
posted by , at
8/29/2007 2:44 PM
The jokes have already started:
Senator Craig, where do you come from and who are you?--
Idahomosexual!
or Sen. Craig, what are you?-- I da ho.
At his press conference Craig started out by saying, "thank you all for coming out today", response--everybody came out but you!
News commentator: "Senator Craig's wife was standing behind him" --response: but first she had to push the men out of the way.
Red V
posted by , at
8/29/2007 2:47 PM
It gets better. I just heard a 40 year old man admitted to fellating Sen. Craig in a restroom in Union Station in Washington, DC. The bathroom apparently was so crowded so they couldn't "consummate" anything and had to use another restroom, lol. Don't you just love it. Yeah, Larry....you're not gay!
posted by , at
8/29/2007 3:11 PM
Good column. But I do think there is a possibility re Craig that seems to be getting overlooked: He could indeed be a straight man who has gay compulsiveness -- including the sort that drives a pursuit of public restroom encounters. It happens. Many gay porn stars are fundamentally straight. They are messed up, of course. And Larry Craig, whether truly gay, or straight-with-gay-compulsions, is clearly messed up. And, also, I'm with the guy who has been out since 1977 -- I've been out a long time, too, and I have NEVER sought or engaged in public restroom sex. Because it's incredibly gross, extremely inconsiderate of other people, and dangerous. I know a small number of gay men who have engaged in that kind of activity, but I would bet the majority of us are totally not into it.
posted by , at
8/29/2007 3:37 PM
Anonymous, no truly straight man would ever go with another male for sex. If a straight man can get aroused watching let alone having gay sex, he's not straight by any definition, porn stars notwithstanding. I doubt if the majority of gay men become aroused looking at women, let along having "compulsions" to do them.
posted by , at
8/29/2007 3:53 PM
Straight guys with gay compulsiveness are called bisexuals, and straight guys who do gay porn do for the big bucks (gay for pay). As for the guy who fellated Craig-ewwwwww-he must have been desperate. BTW, have you heard, Craig was implicated in a sex scandal on capitol hill in the 80s which involved 10 year old boys. Of course he denied it up and down. As Randi Rhodes says, GOP stands for Grand Ol' Pedophiles!
posted by , at
8/29/2007 3:58 PM
Yeah, Randi cracks me up. She just said one of Craig's excuses for having his foot in the other guy's stall was that he was just sitting with a wide stance! Randi said, "I've seen women giving birth whose stance wasnt that wide--what was he straddling, a rhinosaurus?!". LOL.
Gary (NJ)
posted by , at
8/29/2007 4:11 PM
Sorry to say Senator, You're toast. All that anti-gay bad karma comin right at ya!
posted by , at
8/29/2007 4:11 PM
There's no way He won't resign. Think about it--is there ANY way any other male Senator would be caught dead in the same Mens Room at the Capitol with Craig???
posted by , at
8/29/2007 4:30 PM
Seems to me that the GOP holds the monopoly on self-loathers, hypocrisy, bigotry, cheating and adultery. It is the party of hate since this is what it is engendering in the form of Larry Craig, Bob Allen, Mark Foley et al. So much for the party stance on family values and the sanctity of marriage, marriage being the perfect cover for self-loathers. Proves the ex-gay ministries aren't working and that bisexuality is a crock.
posted by , at
8/30/2007 8:19 AM
Craig is obviously not alone. Check out what is going on in Atlanta, link below. It proves that many socalled hetero men are deeply closeted, self-loathing gay men and the majority appear to be republican, using marriage as a front. Despicable!
http://www.towleroad.com/2007/08/larry-craig-inc.html
posted by , at
8/30/2007 12:41 PM
It's true that you can be straight with gay compulsiveness. It's like the Kinsey scale.
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posted by , at
3/19/2008 9:25 PM
心中一阵不安升降机，因为我忽然又想起了那道剑光升降平台，可怕的剑光升降台，美丽的剑光登车桥。为什么那一剑是那么的美丽货架，却又那么的可怕呢集装袋？在我倒下之前我说地磅，好美的剑塑料托盘，好恨的剑塑料托盘。我倒下了仓储笼。在我失去知觉之前仓储笼，我听到他说北京货架，这叫艺术超市货架，剑的艺术北京货架。
我并没有死广州货架，原来我的心是在右边仓储货架，而是不是左边货架厂。所以在那穿胸一剑之下我并没有死南京货架。
是一阵暴雨把我冲醒了货架公司。听说雨是上天的眼泪深圳货架，也许这天又有人死在那美丽的剑光之下吧服装货架！我张开嘴巴托盘，任雨水打进我的嘴托盘，直冲我的胃塑料托盘。我的伤口又开始流血塑料托盘，但已经不痛了木托盘。试问：仓储笼一个心已经死了的人仓储笼，肉体上的疼痛又算得了什么呢仓储笼？我知道我的刀再练一百年也无法那么美丽仓储笼，那么恨托盘，而且永远别想杀了他托盘。
我退出江湖了手推车，我没有通知江湖上的朋友们静音手推车，并来一个什么金盆洗手静音手推车，因为我的朋友们差不多都被他杀了置物架。我悄悄的走了置物架，隐进了山林之中堆垛架。俨然一个世外高人的样子堆垛架，每天一壶绿茶登高车，放在身边的几上登高车，然后或盯着一朵白云超市手推车，或盯着一片树叶物流手推车，或双目紧闭物流台车。我的刀在玉盆中泡了七七四十九天角钢货架，已经没有血腥味了角钢货架。然后我把它放在我的屋顶轻型货架，任它风吹雨打轻型货架。
十年就这年过去了中型货架。为何今天天忽然想起那柄剑中型货架，那道剑光重型货架？而且内心为什么如此不安重型货架？不应该是这样的仓库货架，对于一个喝了十年绿茶的人来说服装货架，面对死上海货架，也已不再惧怕精品货架，不再不安苏州货架，但今天又为何如此呢托盘货架？
莫非是他青岛货架，和他的剑库房货架，加上他的剑光沈阳货架。我已不问江湖之事天津货架，想他十年前也应该坐上武林盟主的位子了杭州货架，一个武林中人做了武林盟主山东货架，这一生还有什么要求的呢文件柜？
我不停的喝着绿茶工具柜。绿茶静心工具柜。但此时怎么也静不下来零件柜。茶已尽工作台。平时茶尽之时工作台，正也是日落之时工作桌。
一定快有什么事情发生了工作桌。
剑还是那美丽的剑Google左侧排名，如果再加上一道剑光吹塑机，就会形成剑的艺术色带，武学的艺术电源插座。
我问反光背心：为何还来找我滚针轴承，我已在十年之前就退出江湖了夜光粉。
他说文化石：因为你没死缎带，因为我没有对手风火轮。
我说激光打标机：十年前已不是你的对手平衡机，何况现在十年未动刀大功率led。
他说磁力泵：放眼天下梯子，只有你一个人是我的对手网眼袋，也只你一个人对我的威胁无尘布。
我不再说话手摇手电筒，因为我不知道说什么手板，我知道我十年前就开始找我毛巾布，发现我没有死就开始找我磁钢。我不死促销台，他心不安模具钢材。
他说时尚配饰：拿出你的刀筛网。
我说齿轮泵：我已无刀天使花房，命托辊，亦可有可无色丁。
他盯着我广告衫，握剑的手越来越紧钢坯，我知道那道美丽的剑光可能随时发出过滤网。在那美丽过后疏水阀，我的生命将画上句号胸章。
阳光照在了刀上发热管，反射到他的脸上手机耳机。他发现了那把刀螺杆，我的刀插销，宝刀蝴蝶，没有鞘的刀工具包。
刀已在我手中点钞机，刀还是那把刀配电箱，人却已不是那个人流苏，因为心不是那颗心沙滩巾。
他为了杀我竟找了我十年氯化镁，而为了和我比武竟帮我从屋顶拿下我的刀来双面胶带，并放在我的手中碳纤维。我忽然发现排线，他也变了汽车座垫，他在后悔十年前将所有高手都杀绝珍珠奶茶。
高手的悲哀太阳伞。
我握紧了刀桥架，我看着他的眼tpr，已经不再像十年前那样明亮了钢丝。
他的剑划出柴油发电机组，划出一道美丽的剑光护栏。我想围栏，这十年他大概在不停地使自己的剑光更美围栏。
我的刀也出了隔离网。简单的动作隔离网，一刀刺进了他的胸网片。那道美丽的光忽然停止网片，停在我的衣服上南京货架。
他说北京货架：这也是艺术北京货架，杀人的艺术北京货架，想不到你十年不动刀还懂这个艺术仓储货架。
我说仓储货架：因为我不想再让你痛苦了广州货架。
他说广州货架：谢谢货架厂。
我走了货架公司。我头也不回的走了塑料托盘。没有取回我的刀塑料托盘，因为我觉得它在我身边已经没用塑料托盘，我后悔我十年前为什么不扔了它塑料托盘？我听到了尸体倒下的声音塑料托盘。我流泪了塑料托盘，我真的不想杀他仓储笼，十年前不想仓储笼，十年后也不想仓储笼，因为我下山时答应过师父仓储笼，一切让着他仓储笼。
我叹了一口气仓储笼。远去仓储笼。
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