Wayne Besen - Author, Activist, Columnist, Public Speaker

Thursday, May 29, 2008

I came across this interesting story by Hank Plante, the political editor for San Francisco's CBS affiliate. It's about legal scholars telling same-sex couples in California to get married BEFORE the November vote. The reason is, even if the proposed anti-gay constitutional amendment passes, it would not be retroactive, and the couples would still be married.

In New York, Gov. David A. Patterson has directed all state agencies to begin to revise their policies and regulations to recognize same-sex marriages performed in other jurisdictions, like Massachusetts, California and Canada. In a directive issued on May 14, the governor’s legal counsel, David Nocenti, instructed the agencies that gay couples married elsewhere "should be afforded the same recognition as any other legally performed union."

40 Comments:

My partner and i are getting married as soon as we can.

However, what is important is to get married because you WANT to be married, and are willing to accept the whole panoply of rights and responsibilties.

That's the point. If you are getting married just to make a statement, you are doing no one any good. And if you break up becuase you were just making some sort of a fashion statement, you may be royally screwed.

This is NOT a frivolous decsion.We are supposed to do a better job of this than straights.
posted by Ben in Oakland, at 5/29/2008 12:39 PM

Ben, dude, relax.

I think it can be assumed the people who would be doing this would be couples who are already committed, and would already be married if it were legal. There are millions of them. And if a few here and there do it for political reasons as well, it's not going to make much of a difference.

And why are we supposed to do a "better" job than straights?

I thought this was about everyone being equal.
posted by Eshto, at 5/29/2008 7:22 PM

I actually am relaxed. But i could see some fairly unconscious people saying "Let's make a statement.", rather than realizing the consequences of an ill-considered action.

Unlike many of the straight people that get married, I might add. I'm in the wedding business and see it all thetime.

you're right, it is about equality--being treated equally. I would like to see us just do a better job with it than striahgt people do-- a 10% divorce rate rather than a 50% divorce rate.

Sort of queer eye for the marired guy.
posted by ben in oakland, at 5/29/2008 10:15 PM

Meh, I'd rather people didn't throw something as personal as divorce around to make political statements. Isn't that kind of like the same thing as using marriage as a statement?

Too many people think divorce is an embarassment, a failure or a sin. Maybe if divorce were less stigmatized people who discover they are romantically incompatible can just break up and get on with their lives with minimal fuss rather than hurting each other, their kids or anybody else.

I have no problem with people getting divorced, gay or straight. Seems like a basic right, just like marriage.
posted by Eshto, at 5/29/2008 11:12 PM

It is, and you are correct. However, being in the wedding business, as I said, I see people get married all the time who just shouldn't.

I have a somewhat peculiar view of marriage. Unlike Britney and Jason and their 15 hours of marital bliss, I do not see it as 'just a lark'. I see it as an important commitment.

If I am going to stand up in front of everybody I know and love, saying "I love this man and wish to spend the rest of my life iwth him, in sickness and in health blahblahblah', then I want to be damn sure that we both have the stuff to make it work.

Unlike many straight people.
posted by Ben in oakland, at 5/30/2008 12:41 AM

The naysayers who claim that allowing marriage equality will incur a huge tax burden on the state should realize that if that's one of their lame excuse to deny us a basic civil right, then perhaps we should demand that all future straight couples should be barred from marrying simply because it would incur an enormous burden on gay taxpayers too. They can't have it both ways. This is all to do with HOMOPHOBIA, nothing more fueled by the part of HATE, the GOP.
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