Wayne Besen - Daily Commentary

Friday, October 10, 2008

The Connecticut Supreme Court decided today that same-sex couples in the state are legally entitled to marriage.

Eight same-sex couples sued in 2004, saying their constitutional rights to equal protection and due process were violated when they were denied marriage licenses. The plaintiffs wanted the court to rule that the law discriminates against them because it applies only to heterosexual couples, therefore denying gay couples the financial, social and emotional benefits of marriage.

This is an amazing win that shows momentum for same-sex marriages. No matter what happens in California, Florida and Arizona - the push for full equality will move forward unimpeded. The main thing is, no heterosexual couples are hurt by allowing gay couples the freedom to marry. The right wing's "sky is falling" arguement came up flat. The only remaining argument is tradition: Bigotry and discrimination have gone on for a long time, so it must be perpetuated.

This line of reasoning is hardly the wave of the future and a sound long-term strategy.

24 Comments:

...followed shortly thereafter by a public referendum permanently banning gay marriage in the state constitution...
posted by Blogger Eshto, at 10/10/2008 1:20 PM  

The ban won't work in California and it certainly won't work in Connecticut. New Jersey will be next! This is great news indeed, the tide is slowly turning in our favor.
posted by Blogger Robert, NYC., at 10/10/2008 1:38 PM  

I hope so, but I will have to see it to believe it. Every time same-sex marriage has become legal, the right wing has found a way to get it overturned. Unfortunately, the religious wrong in this country cannot accept the will of the courts or the people.

I would like to believe that same-sex marriage will soon be legal in most if not all states, but I know that the religious wrong does not play fair...they will lie, cheat, do whatever they have to do to make sure we do not have the right to marry.

I honestly hope I am wrong, but the record of the past rew years deosn't give me a lot of optimism.
posted by OpenID cf-ioan, at 10/10/2008 4:13 PM  

We need to defeat Proposition 8 in California. This is not just a question of need ... we MUST win this battle. The damage could be too far-reaching if we fail. If we win this, the extreme-right wing's war against our marriage rights will be dramatically weakened and will be on its way towards being the footnote to history that it should be. We must do this.
posted by Blogger Chris L., at 10/11/2008 9:24 AM  

cf-joan, don't give up, that's what the opponents want us to do. Chris, absolutely agree with you on that. We must all donate to Equality California now. We need Tim Gill, founder of the Gill Foundation, the inventor of the Quark software program to donate a few million to defeat these bigots. Where is David Geffen when we need him?
posted by Blogger Robert, NYC., at 10/11/2008 2:16 PM  

I tried to post this comment over at the conservative Gay Patriot under "Hate" against Prop 8

People marry for many reasons, but usually one or more of the following: legal, social, and economic stability; the formation of a family unit; procreation and the education and nurturing of children; legitimizing sexual relations; public declaration of love; or to obtain citizenship. (wikipedia)

My parents have been married over 58 years, but at the time of the marriage, their union was not accepted because it was a inter-faith union, my mother, a Catholic, and her mother was the county chair of the Democratic Party and my father, a Mason and Protestant and his mother was the Republican County chair in neighboring county, only had 7 people attend their union. But out of their marriage came 5 children, and one of those offspring ended up being gay.

Over the centuries, marriage has been a contract, with some marriages pre-arranged for financial reasons, to combine clans, to build the core of the community, to ensure the longevity of the family name. Religious institutions tracked marriages to help eliminate 'in-breeding'. Family bibles and religious records documented marriages to ensure blood lines were kept strong. Yet in privileged 'royal families' inbreeding and marrying of close relatives occurred to keep 'the family fortunes'. Pre-arranged marriages and dowries were common. Religious institutions even had sanctions against marry outside of those groups.

'Be Fruitful and Multiply' was the mantra. Prior to the wonders of modern medicine, many women died or suffered complications during delivery of a child, and many children died soon after being born because of the lack of 'modern medicine. Keeping families large helped ensure 'keeping families strong'. Children were expected to care for their parents and their elders, although life expectancy was much shorter due to the lack of modern medicine. Children who did not marry often were the caretakers of the elders, for they also had the time and did not have children to care for.
With the increase of life expectancy combined with the ever so increasing ability to extend people's lives through medical marvels, we now ship our elders off to communites of assisted living, retirement and nursing homes. Ah, what a wonder that is to ship off our parents off, only to have others take care of them.

With the fact that gay folk come from straight families, often times men/women who did not marry were unconfirmed bachelors/spinsters. In some circles, like the Roman Catholic church, men who got the calling to serve, married the church, and so did women, our Catholic nuns/Sisters. Other communities honored these single folk who did not or could not partner up.

But with the social changes, those folk who didn't marry moved on to cities and enclaves began to form of all these folk. Thus the gay ghettos. Like minded LGBT folk started socializing, started forming relationships and thus some of these folk started looking to emulate the families they came from, to form relationships they yearned to create and maintain, like their siblings and parents.

Some of these folk who didn't marry often were identified early through their outward expression of gender bending. There were the 'nancy boys/sissies/momma's boys' and on the other end females that were 'the tomboys'. But inside those circles there were the 'normal' siblings who could pass and yet within them, they too had feelings for the same sex.

Yes, in those large metropolitan circles, gays and lesbians are very visible and are very vocal in the SSM movement. But there are rural gays and lesbians who might want to seek SSM but have developed a nice life and have their community supporters.

Gay and Lesbian DINKs (dual income no kids) are out there, along with many single LGBT folk who are not even interested in SSM. Just like not all heterosexuals will marry, either by choice or because of burned relationships, not all in the LGBT community will seek SSM.

Our lives have been extended through the marvels of modern medicine, our families have other options other than to have our elders return home for care, and LGBT folk are achieving more social acceptance (worldwide). But from the recent change of the 10% factor (1 out of 10 are LGBT) to the more conservative 4% of the general population being LGBT, SSM isn't really going to upend the institution of marriage. There aren't going to be a 'majority' of SSM couples seeking to destroy society.

Families are families. And in most families across the country, there are LGBT folk, be it a sibling, a parent, a cousin, an uncle or aunt. There are even multiple LGBT folk in some families. These are not oddities, these people are just like everyone else. And if some of these people are seeking SSM, I really don't see why others are trying to limit these choices. Allowing SSM will actually benefit the institution of marriage, and help demostrate that committed folk can actually make things work.

--
ciao, rusty
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Dr. Suess
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