Wayne Besen - Author, Activist, Columnist, Public Speaker

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

An Survivor Of Ex-Gay Ministry Tells His Story

My name is Barry Reed. I am 45 years old and reside in Knoxville, Tennessee. My story begins a long time ago when I knew I was gay and sought help to be cured. I went to a School of Ministry in Tulsa, Oklahoma where I encountered a city prayer group that sought to deliver me of homosexual demons.

After the deliverance session I was deemed " free." It was a lie.

For many years I fought with the Bible, prayed, sought counsel from religious leaders, married a woman, had two wonderful children. Yet, still, I knew I was gay and finally had the strength to come out of the closet. I was also in ministry for many years.

In 2006, I was divorced and before that had already came out of the closet. I thought I was finally going to be accepted. However, because of coming out my ex-wife remarried a religious bigot. They devised plan to move out of state so my children would not have consistent contact with me except 65 days out of the year. They did this because I was gay and now have a partner.

The court system n Knoxville Tennessee would not hear the gay issue and the ex-wife was being vindictive. Love Won Out Conferences, Exodus International, etc., propel ideas such as my ex-wife's. They preach that homosexuals teach their own children how to be gay. Plus they really do not love gay people as they state. They only do so if gays conform to their image of being "ex-gay."

I have a wonderful partner with an ongoing relationship of now over a year.

Barry Reed

12 Comments:

Barry, I am so glad that you are free. The people with the problem are not the gay people ... it's people who treated you like you were treated, merely because of who you love. Trying to diminish your relationship with your kids, etc., all of that is the poison and toxicity which is homophobia. Thank goodness you finally stopped fighting who you are. You will never be able to change those people, but you can change your reaction to them. The strength to walk around with your head held high comes from within, and you don't need their respect to find that dignity. They are lesser beings for their behavior.
posted by Chris L., at 10/29/2008 12:59 PM

barry, i'm proud of you for sharing your story. i know that was a big step and i encourage you to keep telling it. if we can inform people of what we went through maybe we can deter someone else from making our mistakes.
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