Mississippi is that ridiculous state that bans sex toys. Why don't they go all they way and just ban sex?
Apparently, a sex store was selling such gadgets when an enterprising prude, I mean reporter, barged in with an exclusive expose. Kandiss Crone, a disgrace to her profession, shoved the camera in the face of the sex store worker confronting him about his contraband - or cock-tra-band, if you will.
Chuck Grassley, a Republican hick senator from The Iowa, has insulted New York. He took off his Corn Belt and whipped Giuliani yesterday, while the former New York City mayor was down. The droopy-faced hillbilly said that Giuliani's speedy downfall stemmed from:
"that New York personality, the New York lifestyle hasn't gone over [in] some places. It seemed like the more people got acquainted with him, the less they liked him," he said. "Things you do in New York don't stay in New York."
Well, I've been to the The Iowa five times, and I can tell you that I would take the "New York personality" any day of the week. It is bad enough that the cardboard-like people there talk slow - but the conversation revolves around picking wheat and corn. These people have pigs - as HOUSE PETS.
Not only that, but we have to subsidize the boring Iowa lifestyle with ethanol and other farm subsidies. I'm tired of these people in The Iowa getting farm welfare and then turning around and insulting New Yorkers who are paying for their right to slam us while they sit on top of tractors with weeds sticking out of their mouths.
As a New Yorker, I can say that these cornholes need to get a life and stop bashing us. It was bad enough when they were just boring, but now they are also brazen.
To The Iowa: Stop acting jealous because we know how to have fun and please refrain from talking about places you have no idea about. Just shut up and feed us. With love, of course.
P.S. I am kidding about Iowans....but I am making a point, here. New Yorkers are fed up with getting dissed by country folk who can't stop boasting about their superior values. We are quite content here and we are proud of our own values - diversity, tolerance, humor, innovation. We think that those pointing fingers should take a moment, get to know the real New York and learn a little from us. That's all.
As it turns out, homosexual Republicans are lining up behind John McCain. The problem is, they better make sure their pants are up if he lines up behind them, as he as screwed the GLBT community on nearly every vote. John McCain is no moderate - and his "Straight Talk Express" means you aren't allowed to talk about gay issues. (Okay, I made up the last part, but it sounded too good to pass up)
The gay GOPers can't back Huckabee, as he is a religious lunatic, and Romney is too untrustworthy. "Full-of-Mitt" is likely to come out in support of gay rights while campaigning in San Francisco; only to switch his position to the death penalty on state visits to Saudi Arabia, if he were elected. He just changes his position like the tides. Romney is one amoral, plastic, protean politician who needs to be retired. So, that leaves McCain, who once referred to Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell as "agents of intolerance." Until, of course, he needed them this time around. Then he began tolerating these agents, quite easily.
There is a solution for depressed Republicans: Become Democrats.
Like a bad Hollywood sequel, for the second time this month singer Britney Spears was rushed to the hospital in Los Angeles during the early morning hours today. Come'on Brit, it is time to take up Rossie's offer for help. Let the lesbians get you out of this mess and help you clean up. Brit, we are pulling for you and hope you get your act together.
It is with great sadness that I announce that Democrat John Edwards is leaving the presidential race. From the beginning, he was the idea leader and the voice of the struggling middle class. Unfortunately, the media never gave him a chance - as they wanted either Hillary or Obama to be the historic nominee. Time and again, Edwards would lead on policy initiatives, yet he was banished to the inside pages of the newspaper. He ran a classy campaign and will no doubt play a powerful role in the Democratic Party.
I wish he and his wife Elizabeth well and hope they take a much-needed vacation. Fortunately, Democrats are left with two inspiring candidates who are light years ahead of all the Republicans.
Meanwhile, Giuliani turned out to the bust of the campaign season - even surpassing the droopy and depressing Fred Thompson. Let's face it, Giuliani was a drag - and I'm not even talking about his preferred attire. I'm relieved Rudy is gone, as I did not trust that egomaniac to have his finger on "The Button."
So, now we are left with "Full of Mitt" Romney, who has enough money to campaign until the year 4000 - the same year, coincidentally, that Romney's opponent, John McCain, predicts we will leave Iraq.
To be honest, McCain scares me the most. Too many uninformed liberals and Independents think that McCain shares their views. He doesn't. McCain is a conservative hack with a record the Christan Coalition loves. While he is preferable to crazies, such as Mike "Huckster-Bible", he is still likely to appoint awful judges that will restrict rights and he is determined keep us in a war that will drain our treasury and spirit.
In the Democratic primary, Hillary Clinton won in Florida - a huge victory that gives her momentum - even though no delegates. If she would have lost, it may have been the end of her campaign - especially after Obama's impressive win in South Carolina.
Interestingly, Florida Democrats shattered the previous state record for turnout in a Democratic Presidential Primary.
"Florida Democrats have spoken, and they are being heard loud and clear. Almost a million and a half - and we're still counting!" Florida Democratic Party Chair Karen L. Thurman said. "Democrats clearly have the momentum in Florida and across this country. The nation's largest battleground state proved today that America wants change. No matter the challenges we face, Florida Democrats will deliver for this country in November just like they did today. This is an incredible night for the people of Florida!"
I caught the political bug while in college in 1992, seduced by the charming optimism of Bill Clinton's presidential campaign. At the time, I was interning as a radio news reporter at KQED in San Francisco. One of my assignments was to cover a Clinton visit. Although I was still a political neophyte, there was something special about this candidate. With a central theme of "change" he inspired and instilled hope - while making the future seem limitless.
Beyond his political gifts, Clinton substantively appealed to me because he was in favor of gay and lesbian equality. I had come out four years earlier and a pervasive silence on GLBT issues had been the norm for political discourse. By and large, "gay" was something to be whispered in the cloakroom - not an issue thoughtfully discussed by the most powerful political figures in the land.
Bill Clinton changed this.
On May 11, 1992, the presidential candidate made an unprecedented appearance at a gay fundraiser at the Palace Theater in Hollywood. Organized by GLBT advocate David Mixner, $100,000 was raised for the Clinton campaign. The candidate gave an historic speech that led the audience to break out in spontaneous applause on several occasions.
"Tonight I want to talk to you about how we can be one people again, without regard to race or gender or sexual orientation or age or region or income," Clinton told the appreciative crowd. "Those of you who are here tonight represent a community of our nation's gifted people whom we have been willing to squander. We cannot afford to waste the capacity, the contributions, the heart, the soul and the mind of gay and lesbian Americans...What I came here to tell you in simple terms, is, I have a vision and you're a part of it."
Today's young people (and many older voters) forget Clinton's mesmerizing and momentous outreach to the GLBT community. He offered groundbreaking opportunities and an unsurpassed vision of hope. Clinton's call for unity sparked the imagination and inspired a new generation who wanted a break from the old ways. Indeed, it becomes crystal clear when one reads Clinton's old speeches that he was the Barack Obama of 1992 - the change agent who would transform Washington.
So, what happened?
From the moment the Clintons set foot in the White House, they endured unrelenting attacks by the right, who saw the family as illegitimate usurpers of ascendant conservative power.
The far right - mostly Republicans, but some Democrats, such as Sen. Sam Nunn (D-GA) - kneecapped Clinton's efforts to allow gays to serve openly in the military. Of course, Clinton deserves blame for cravenly capitulating and allowing the disastrous, "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy to become law. But, let's not forget that it was a concerted effort by the right wing to humiliate Clinton that resulted in this fiasco.
Led by the Clinton-hating tycoon Richard Mellon Scaife and Rev. Jerry Falwell, the barrage of phony "scandals" and outrageous allegations continued unabated. Matters got worse when the irrepressible Newt Gingrich became House Speaker in 1994. The Clinton obsession reached a head, so to speak, during the Monica Lewinsky drama. In what amounted to an attempted coup d'etat, the right wing tried to impeach Clinton for private sexual relations.
The truth is, the conservative movement is as pugnacious as it is repugnant. It is arrogance with a self-centered sense of entitlement - with its unpatriotic actions wrapped in the flag and justified in the name of God.
As imperfect - and at times disappointing - as the Clintons may have been, for many years, they were all that stood in the way of the conservative movement's complete domination and takeover of America.
Unfortunately, for their successful efforts at partially derailing the conservative juggernaut, the Clintons are being blamed for sullying the tone in Washington. This twisted line of reasoning reminds me of the kid who finally retaliates against his bullying tormentors, only to be sent to the school's office and reprimanded for fighting. The historical revisionism on the Clinton era must stop because it does not conform to reality. They did not pick the fights, they just retaliated -- and often won. If Obama is elected president and faces the same frontal assault as Bill and Hillary, he will suffer the precise partisan fate. We can only hope that he has the killer instinct and resourcefulness to effectively fight back.
There are many reasons to vote for Obama - he is smart, inspiring, and an historic figure that would likely make a terrific president. But, changing the tone in Washington is not a reason to cast your vote on his behalf. The conservatives are still there -- though largely discredited -- serving their selfish movement rather than America. We ought to reward candidates who stand up to their evil agenda, rather than peg them as divisive and part of the problem.
While this may make great campaign rhetoric, Bill Clinton's presidency is a cautionary tale. Nothing in Washington is going to "change" until the modern conservative movement is transformed or vanquished.
Apparently, John McCain learned a little something in South Carolina from the George W. Bush campaign in 2000. He realized that to win in today's GOP - one has to be a sleaze merchant, willing to court the bigot vote and say whatever it takes to get elected.
This scumbaggery manifested itself in a series of McCain "robo-calls" where he depicts Mitt Romney as a liberal on gay issues (once true) and portrays himself as "Mr. Conservative" (Kinda True). Here is the full transcript of the gay baiting lies:
"I'm calling with an urgent Mitt Romney [unintelligible]"
"We care deeply about traditional values and protecting families. And we need someone who will not waver in the White House: Ending abortion, preserving the sanctity of marriage, stopping the trash on the airwaves and attempts to ban God from every corner of society. These issues are core to our being.
"Mitt Romney thinks he can fool us. He supported abortion on demand, even allowed a law mandating taxpayer-funding for abortion. He says he changed his mind, but he still hasn't changed the law. He told gay organizers in Massachusetts he would be a stronger advocate for special rights than even Ted Kennedy. Now, it's something different.
"Unfortunately, on issue after issue Mitt Romney has treated social issues voters as fools, thinking we won't catch on. Sorry, Mitt, we know you aren't trustworthy on the most important issue and you aren't a conservative
"Paid for by John McCain 2008.
The thing is, conservatives will always hate McCain, because he has clashed with their leaders on several high-profile occasions. When McCain tried to win their love by kissing Bush's ass - he plummeted in the polls. Embarking on this strategy is, once again, a strategic blunder for McCain that will backfire. He will gain a few Republicans, but lose the Independents, just as he had earlier in his campaign.
I think that Hillary will barely "win" Florida tonight. It will be closer, now that Ted Kennedy endorsed Obama, plus Obama's speech making has been off the charts. However, the Obama people MUST change their chant. The current "O-BA-MA" shout sounds a bit scary. If they want a chance of winning, they must change it to a quick "OBAMA" without such pronounced syllable breaks. While this seems like a small thing, unless the campaign makes this adjustment, Obama will never be president. Ignore my advice at your own peril.
Much has been made of the fact the candidates have gotten down and dirty in this campaign. I say - GOOD. I want my Democrat to be leathered and weathered by the time the general election begins. Huckabee can have Chuck Norris at his side - but I want Hillary or Obama to BE Chuck Norris (minus the nutty beliefs) by the time the convention rolls around. We all know the Republicans are experts at slash and burn slime campaigns. So, we need our nominee ready to kick some butt.
For the Republicans, I predict Romney will beat McCain. The economy is the big concern of most Floridians - which helps "Full of Mitt." Plus, Romney has seemed much looser on the campaign trail, of late. McCain will be helped in the military areas, such as Pensacola and Jacksonville. Still, enough Republicans hate him - and Independents are not voting in this contest. This ought to allow Romney to squeak out a five point upset.
P.S. Any prediction I get wrong will mysteriously vanish before you check back in. Happy voting Florida (My Home State)
Blogger John Aravosis and others who taped Mitt Romney during the last Republican debate heard a strange whisper about tax cuts, before Romney spoke of them. Was Romney cheating by using a electronic contraption where staff could feed him information?
In my book, Ear Piece = Air Head. If you can't do a debate without cheating, you aren't qualified to run for President. It seems we are getting more plastic, phony bullshit from the flip flopping, robot nominee.