Wayne Besen - Author, Activist, Columnist, Public Speaker

Thursday, June 24, 2004

by Wayne Besen

On a day dedicated to honoring fathers, my father was busy honoring me. Early Sunday afternoon he joined my mother and celebrated my life at a large gay pride event. While I gave him Fathers Day presents, it was he and my mother who gave me the gifts of unconditional love and support.

As we ate scrumptious Greek food my parents and I wondered what Mary Cheney – V.P. Dick’s re-closeted daughter who is running his reelection campaign – might say to him on Father’s Day. We imagined it would go something like this:

Mary: “Oh, Daddy, thanks for unlocking the closet in your bunker and letting me out.”

Dick: “Well, it is Father’s Day and you’ve been so very loyal to the Republican Party. You’ve even endured those awful homosexual activists who remind the world that you once gallivanted with Mr. Leather while you worked as Coors gay liaison.”

Mary: “I did miss Gay Pride this year, Daddy. Did Mr. Leather try to call me? The closet you put me in gets lousy cell reception.”

Dick: “He didn’t call. Besides, that one time Mom secretly went with you to Pride she got this kooky idea for a novel with lascivious lesbian characters.”

Mary: “I got you a gift Daddy!”

Dick: “Oh Sweetie, surrendering your dignity and self-respect for my career is quite enough.”

Mary: “But Daddy…”

Dick: “I’ve actually got a gift for you! I saw this Jerry Springer special on a phenomenon called lipstick-style lesbians. So, I pulled some strings and made you an appointment with the producer of Extreme Makeover. And just in time for the Republican convention! Sweetie, you don’t have to look like Ellen anymore! It’s part of our de-Gayification campaign, named after our wildly successful de-Bathification.”

Mary: Daddy, you’re the best.

On a more serious note, while my family dined, I suddenly felt a pang of guilt for being so fortunate. There are thousands of gay men and lesbians who come out and are suddenly estranged from their parents. Many gay teens are abandoned and callously heaved into the cruel streets.

One thing that I have always found maddening is that without a shred of scientific evidence the religious right blames male homosexuality on an absent father. The truth is there are countless gay men who are very close to their fathers and just as many heterosexual men who are not. There is clearly no cause and effect relationship.

Yet, on raucous television debates right wing spokespeople often bellow, “homosexuals are not born, they are made!”

But if gay people are “made”, conservative families must be industrial factories so successful at churning out freshly minted homosexuals that they might qualify for an enormous Bush tax break.

Consider that former House Speaker Newt Gingrich’s half-sister Candace is a lesbian. John Schlafly, son of right wing crusader Phyllis Schlafly, is homosexual. The late California Sen. William ‘Pete’ Knight – a vociferous same-sex marriage opponent – has a gay son, David Knight. The late Barry Goldwater has a gay grandson, Ty Ross. And even Operation Rescue founder Randall Terry’s adopted son Jamiel Terry recently announced he is gay.

How can these right wing zealots keep fighting the so-called “Gay Agenda” when they are the “Gay Agenda”?

As the Republican Party steps up its drive for a Constitutional Amendment banning same-sex marriage, it is time for Republicans with gay relatives to start acting like real mothers and fathers. With attacks intensifying on their children Dick Cheney and others should start putting family values over fundamentalist votes and parental loyalty over party loyalty.

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